Changing our Relationship with Guilt & Shame

Guilt is a human emotion that is usually generated after doing something that is considered wrong in our realm of consciousness. 

Shame is a human emotion generated after doing something which is perceived as wrong in the collective culture.

I wanted to explore these emotions because it was important to unearth what lay within. Both these emotions convey that this is not an appropriate course of action.

Both these range of emotions are necessary to keep us in check. To not violate the bounds of human life, individual sense of self, and mutual consent.

However, collective culture teaches people to behave in certain ways to be accepted. However, many of these behaviours violate the individual's sense of self, perception and expression.

Guilt has two voices - 1) our own sense of wrongdoing and 2) what we have been taught is wrong. However, this is someone else's idea of wrong and not ours.

Shame, however, is a conditioned trait. We have been taught that pursuing certain behaviours is wrong and unacceptable to society. It is a type of fear that is taught.

Usually, when a person is unaware of their truth, they are driven by these ideas. When an emotion is not driven by our own intuition, and rather by others - we are bound by an illusion. Someone else's idea of wrongdoing becomes our own. It hinders the person's level of self-expression. It inhibits their authentic nature. And the person continues this cycle.

When we take the time to get to know ourselves, we begin noticing the nuances of our true nature. We become aware of the ideas that drive our actions and behaviours. We become mindful of what we create. We begin discerning the ideas that come from others and those that are truly ours.

Being transient beings, change is the only possibility. Our interests and preferences keep changing over time. However, once we can discern our thoughts from others, we can choose our next step consciously.

In our society, we are bound to be influenced by others' perceptions. Our power lies when we consider other perceptions and choose what is right for us.

The next time a guilt or shame pattern comes up in your system, consciously ask yourself 'Am I doing something inappropriate?' or  'Am I hurting someone?' Think for yourself.

When we stand true to our ground, it can bring up dissociation in others. However, this stems from their ideas of us and not our true nature or realities.

Some points to notice you are being true to yourself:

1. When you don't betray yourself
2. Expressing something makes you happy and delightful
3. Pursuing what you like brings about a sense of purposefulness.
4. Consideration for others without abandoning your needs

You create your measures. When it comes to shared realities, consideration is a crucial aspect. Practising co-existence, where you can come to the middle ground, is one of the certain ways to have improved relationships with loved ones.

Allow your emotions to be a guide to notice your true intentions and purposeful change. Be mindful of the beliefs that you subscribe to. Change the ways you relate with your conditioned emotions, to create a path toward true freedom.