Stripping off Labels: On Being Kind to Ourselves

We are quick to define ourselves when we want to explain our depth. We are desperate to be seen a certain way so people will like us. We believe that harbouring extremes is what it means to honour our sense of self.

But the truth is that we have never needed titles to make ourselves make sense. These titles have only restricted our sense of self rather than amplifying it.

Try it once. Try not to define yourself in ways that you usually do. Let go of a label that you least connect with right now. Decide that you're no longer going to label yourself this way. How does this feel? Do you feel a sense of relief?

Keep doing this a little. Keep doing this a lot. Eventually, you'll realize that it's the ideals,  nuances and the 'supposed-to'  behind these labels that have held you back.

When I practised this, I experienced it as if an unseen weight had been lifted off from my body. My body felt as if the tight ropes of restrictions got snipped off. Like it was now safe to relax.

I wish we didn't care so much about what we meant to others, and how we modify ourselves to fit in their views. Not realizing that by doing this we are only shrinking the energy of ourselves.

When we strip off the labels, we approach circumstances with a sense of trust and surrender. You'll trust yourself to deal with whatever comes your way. 

Managing Your Emotions vs Suppressing Your Emotions

The other day when I was talking to a friend, I told them that while they are grieving - to try not to suppress emotions while they're learning to manage them. They said they didn't understand the difference.

Suppressing your emotions means to dismiss them. Let's say you're feeling angry about a circumstance. Instead of healthily expressing them, you control them to such an extent that it hurts you. You don't allow a space or an outlet. Instead of witnessing the changes the emotion brings out in you, you unify with it. It is possible that this state of mind also causes one to project their narratives onto others.

Suppressing your emotions festers and stagnates the energy in your body. Over time it becomes a space of trigger and reactive responses. If you don't address these emotions, at some point these might lead to outbursts - leading to mental health deterioration and disconnection in important human relationships.

Managing your emotions means that you first give them space - and notice them. You create a separation between you and the emotion. You notice the sensations that come up in your body because of the said emotion. And instead of projecting, you first take your time to process the emotion at your own pace and rhythm. And once you are emotionally stable - you can express it in the best way possible.

When you learn to manage your emotions, you learn to intentionally channel them. This skill becomes a seat of conscious creation. It allows space to take a step back and practise pause. This makes way for clear thinking and to prioritize the next course of action. It also makes space for clarity and self-expression. In time you'll learn to verbalize what is necessary, and the aspects that can be left out. These efforts create harmony and connections in human relationships. 

On Taking Up Space

I believe that this has been my lesson for life so far. To take up more space. While I was growing up, somewhere along the way I realized that I used to be apologetic for taking up space. There was no specific circumstance as such. But I believe it was an accumulation of many things that happened - with my young, rebel-like mindset and responses.

I somehow believed that it was all on me - to grow through life and accomplish my dreams. But somewhere along the way, this mindset only isolated me from others, while I pursued it. I carried all the load on myself and never allowed others to help me. I had a hostile view towards my immediate world. Now that I look back, I see I didn't trust anyone because I didn't allow them to carry my trust in any form.

Now that I have been through more experiences in life, it taught me to lower down my guard. I do not have to trust someone immediately. But I can take my time to get to know them - and trust them with little bits of my life.

My ideals of freedom have also shifted. I now believe that true freedom lies in healthy interdependency. As a human, I can never do everything on my own. Of course, I need the presence of my loved ones, and like-minded people to consider perspectives, and most importantly to support me through times when I don't understand the transitions happening in life.

Embodiment Practices:

Taking up space also meant taking up space in my body. As I began the first of my yoga practices a few months back, I realized that it was teaching me to get comfortable leaning into the discomfort in my body. The discomfort was my life's narratives that restricted me to my past. The yoga practices enabled me to gently lean into the difficult parts and meet them at my capacity. Eventually, it got easier to meet these blocks. I cultivated more capacity to meet the layers at my depths. Eventually, my depths didn't scare me anymore.

Additionally, I also began a practice to express natural movements. In these practices, I would release any shame - and allow my body to move in ways that it felt like. Initially, it was difficult. Now it's one of the practices I pursue to connect with my natural self. These expressions reflect the state of your conscious mind. There are no goals to meet here. You can simply be, and meet your present state of mind.

These practices further teach us that accepting now is the way forward.

Creative Expressions:

Writing and Painting really allowed me to express myself. In both cases, all I had to do was to show up and begin my practice. There was no to impress or convince. There was no one to perform for. Just me and a blank canvas - waiting for my conscious spirit to come alive into tangibility.

Feel the Feelings, Experience the Emotions:

All of our internal worlds are distinct from others. Circumstances impact us in different ways and in different intensities. Eventually, I reached a point where I could accept the strangest and most conflicting emotions. I no longer needed validation from others - to make my feelings make sense. Eventually, I could do it myself. And to be honest, this has been my biggest win in terms of emotional development.

Communication and Boundaries:

The above practices helped me cultivate a sense of self in my body and mindset. I could clearly discern my thought process from others'. And once I was aware of this, I could choose what I wanted to believe. This further began to reflect in the way I communicated my space. The kind of conversations I would be a part of, and even speak up when others would highly opinionate on the way I pursued my days. Initially, it was strange because this was a new territory for me. I had never felt this way before - a sense of control, the consequences of my choices. These insights led me towards liberating my mind-held prison.

I wanted to express this because I wanted to reflect. It feels like there has been a timeline shift from the person I used to be. I can now confidently say that regarding many aspects of my life, I have become the person I was inspired to be. These experiences have only further reinforced the fact that when we commit to consciously re-creating ourselves, we can be whoever we want. 

Eventually, taking up space was more about me allowing me to see myself, rather than to be seen by others. The point of it all was to learn to break free of the conditioned mindset, to know that we have always been free. 

Taking Back Your Power

It's election season where I live. It is said that the person who wins the election comes into power - the central government. This got me wondering - what does it mean to be in power?

While I was writing this article - The language editing software was correcting the word power to control. I second this. I also believe that to be in power, means to have control.

In the context of our individual lives, remembering that each of our actions contributes to a rippling effect of what comes next - is a good reminder that each of us carries our own discrete power. I believe that each of us has our own strengths and flaws, even if our realities are our universes apart. I believe that one person's circumstance can never be the baseline of comparison for another.

When we notice the strengths in our personal circumstances, we make space to tend to our own life's gardens. This is what it means to stay in your lane. That the grass is greener where you water it. Even if this means you'll come across many colour shades, textures and types of grass different from what you've seen or experienced before.           

                                                      

Coming back to the definition of power - It is the inherent capacity to create, direct, influence or pursue something to bring it about - to fruition.

When it comes to power, people relate to its idea differently. Some aren't marginally aware of their inherent power. In other cases, some despite knowing the magnanimity of their power are afraid of the consequences that come with it.

In general, people associate having power with being ostracized from their sense of familiarity - family, friends and other human connections. Visibility was then equated to danger. I would feel anxious about what it would be like if I unleashed my true self. It felt like my loved ones would disown me once they truly saw the real me. For people who have never done this before, it can be a form of suffocating experience for them. As it brings up freeze responses concerning the past.

Intimidation might threaten some. But it also inspires the right community who are willing to challenge their ways of being. People are afraid that others will really see how capable they really are. This might shut them off from what they've known. And this is why they play small.

We are afraid of being treated as a threat, being disliked, or being ostracized from our community. Of not complying with others' sense of our self. When we focus on controlling these aspects that are outside of the realm of control - we instinctively lose power.

So here are some prompts to become curious about yourself:

• What are the strengths or preferences that you don't speak about, hesitating that you're going to intimidate others?
• Why are you so afraid of intimidating others?
• Can you increase your capacity to allow others to experience your authenticity?
• Can you get used to others experiencing your authenticity?

Your power lies in everything that you do. From what you notice, to your interpretations, your assumptions, your thought process, your responses and how you channel your pain to pleasure. All these practices carry the energy of creation. All of these are facets of conscious creation. Choices followed by decisions. 

This change is manageable. It is a practicable process. All it needs is your awareness, your attention and your commitment to changing these patterns - no matter how scary it can get.

Speak up. You deserve to live a life that feels most authentic to you. 

Embracing My Ugly, to Experience True Beauty

The other day before going for my run, I felt self-conscious of my appearance. Despite going on innumerable runs before, I experienced this. I think it stemmed from the fact that my weight had increased, and I felt heavier than usual. The stuffy, humid weather also didn't support me to feel better about myself.

So I said to myself - "I am going for a run. I am bound to get sweaty and huff & puff along my way." I gave myself permission to feel as ugly as I quite possibly could. And continued with my morning run.

I would have to say that was one of my most fun, enjoyable and challenging runs. In fact, the more I accepted the feeling of ugliness, the more beautiful my run felt within and outside.

I enjoyed the cool morning breeze that provided me respite from the stuffy humid weather. The early morning weekend, the innocent slow pace of the passers-by, and the cotton candy ambience of the sunrise. I could listen to the bird song distinctly, and even the different types of chirps. In all this, I also played with the cutest little cat.

I think this stemmed from the fact that we equate beauty with conforming to beauty standards. About the hair, the outfit, the stance - let's say the aesthetics of the run than its true impact. So when I gave myself permission to be my worst, I was subconsciously indicating that I would do something else if this didn't feel good for me.

This experience was an eye-opener. I feel like all these years, I have immersed myself in experiences while being conscious of what others thought of me. This experience taught me that when I allow myself to fall, I give myself the space to experience my worst and my failures. Most importantly, it shows me what my failures look like in reality, instead of imagining and ruminating about the failure in my mind. Which in my opinion is a waste of precious mind energy.

I know now that I am gonna give myself more space to be my worst - so I can finally experience what it feels like to give my best in my endeavours! 

Embodiment: A Powerful Practice to Reveal your True Nature

Embodiment is a practice where one willingly sits with their (usually) uncomfortable feelings. This practice also expresses joy, happiness, contentment and other light and other easily acceptable feelings as well. However, in this post, I would like to address the uncomfortable feelings. 

Usually, when we refuse to accept an uncomfortable feeling, such as anxiety, fear, resentment or jealousy, we repress them. The energy of these feelings then gets stored in our bodies. With reference to one of my earlier posts, these uncomfortable feelings are constrictive in nature. The more we suppress these feelings, we feel suffocated in our bodies.

Sometimes, we are just so afraid to face and accept a feeling - that forms the reality of our experience. However, without facing this, it is difficult to move on to the next phase of our life. Unfortunately, when we refuse to face the reality of our past experiences, we continue the old stories with us - repeating the patterns into our future.

The trick is to face the feeling slowly.

1 The first step is to decide that you are going to face the feeling. To communicate with your body - that you are ready to experience the reality of your feelings. And that no matter what comes up, you are here to face it.

2 Once you are ready, the second step would be to sit with the reality of your feelings. This might be one of the most excruciating parts. Here you are going to face your past realities, and your illusions are going to be shattered. This phase is no doubt painful. It's going to bring about inner conflicts, and grief. This part lasts while it lasts.

In the beginning few practices, your feelings are gonna overtake your days. However, as you get better with each practice, the duration gets shorter. There might even come a point where you can face and move through this stage within 5 minutes.

Timing is not important. It's about being able to confront your pain and sit with the chaos that comes with facing your truths.

3 The final stage is tending to your grief. The healing stage depends on the intensity of the feeling. Sometimes it's a big truth you have to face. This can cause a deep void that can take a few days or weeks to recover from. Usually, this creates a feeling of emptiness, that you don't even know what you need to do next. However, the good thing is that it gets better. The idea is to be present for yourself. Take good care of your physical health too in this period.

Sometimes the feeling can still be painful and not so intense. In my case, a good night's sleep helps me recover from the phase - and regulate myself.

I noticed that the more I faced these difficult emotions, I felt viscerally free. It's become a sort of life hack for me. At any moment I feel these sticky feelings, and depending on where I am at - I decide if I want to face it then and there. Or I allocate some time to face it later in the day.

Each constricted feeling is an energetic block. The more we experience it, we create space to allow wisdom and guidance for the next intuitive step.

Sometimes an emotion can feel big and intimidating. It is only because the mind makes an unnecessary scale of it. Our minds are built to respond to the present moment. It cannot comprehend the vastness of the universal existence. In comparison, these emotions are minuscule and manageable.

Don't be afraid of your feelings. They exist to guide you and liberate you from the false illusions that hold you back from your true self. Soothe yourself by remembering this - at the end of the day, all you're afraid of - is a feeling. 

The Myth of 'Better'

Our perceiving mind is limited to an extent. It cannot grasp the magnanimity of existence. It believes our life journey and growth process is a linear experience. However, it is anything but.

As humans, I think we have gotten used to equating more with better. When we want to improve upon ourselves, we think perfecting an aspect or doing more of it, means that we are getting better at it. Of course, practice makes a person better. It is also crucial to consider the intention with which we outlined in our practices.

I believe that 'better' encompasses honouring the essentials. The truth is, each day unfolds in its own way. Despite carving our routine in the day, there are so many other factors that add to it. This requires spontaneity. It's good that we curate our days based on our goals, creativity and passions.

However, unbeknownst to our conscious minds, our physical and emotional energies can vary each day. Once we learn to manage our difficult emotions, it does get easier. Still, managing emotional energy has the possibility of depleting our energy resources for the day.

Sometimes, different priorities can show up each day. Some days we might require to rest more. Other days can require creative outputs from us. When we take each day as it comes, it is necessary to reinforce our boundaries in this process. We need to find the balance between our routine (conscious control) and the external (unknown) circumstances that show up.

I believe better means learning to manage your days without exhausting yourself. Better means to learn from the process, and refine your methods in the things that you pursue. Better means to listen to, and honour your needs. To know the difference between the times when you need to challenge your ways, and other times when you're pushing yourself to exhaustion.

I believe that when we show up, we are already being an active participant in co-creating our conscious life. The point is to get immersed in the present experience. It has all the wisdom and guidance we need - if we just take a minute to notice it.

I believe that as long as we are showing up in our capacities and doing our best with what is available to us, it is easy to create a garden from barren ground. 

Dealing with Our Constricting Emotions

I think that people are so afraid of their negative emotions because it would lead them to a negative spiral of no return. We have been taught that these sticky feelings could mean something adverse about us. We are so afraid to experience these feelings because of what it could mean about us.

The emotions that are considered negative - such as anger, jealousy and envy are simply points of guidance. When we experience these feelings, it means that there is an unmet need beneath them. When we are unconscious of what we feel, our actions and behaviours are driven by our wounds. It causes us to project our pain onto external forces and control them to meet our needs. This can be due to the circumstances or other people.

Our internal perceptions give meaning to our outer world. When we experience these feelings, we feel an energy of constriction. It feels like the energy gets clumped up and ready to spit balls of fire onto the events (or people) that trigger us.

In reality, these feelings are just messengers. When we decide to be present or listen to the needs of these feelings, we make space for them. This is the beginning of loosening the tight grip on what the feeling itself, and what it means about us.

It's important to remember that most of our feelings are a natural, biological response to our circumstances. All of our nervous systems have different ranges of tolerance. So no matter the circumstance, all of us respond to the circumstance differently.

The further we go up in this scale, we experience the energy of expansion and free-spiritedness. In short, we can breathe comfortably. We feel peaceful. 

When we allow the negative feelings to fester, it brings us to a complete halt. So when we start meeting these sticky feelings - with curiosity and compassion, we begin meeting them at their energy or pace. When we pursue this, we begin freeing up the blocked spaces. This allows us to move towards feelings of neutrality - followed by a sense of calm, peace, contentment and joy.

A Practise:

The next time you feel a sticky emotion - something like irritation, annoyance, or any form of comparison - instead of rushing to soothe it, spend some time with it. get to know what it wants. In fact, you simply sit in embodied irritation or annoyance for a while. In this way, you really get to 'feel your feelings'.

Notice your breath when you're experiencing the negative emotion, and after you make space to experience it. You'll most probably notice that you're naturally breathing deeply. An outcome of the emotion which has got its need met.

PS - I do not consider any emotion as negative. I believe that each emotion has its purpose. However, in the context of this post, it becomes easier for me to describe the range of emotions.

Honouring Our Beautiful Minds

I don't think we offer enough gratitude for our minds. Our conscious minds are the route with which we navigate our lives and circumstances. Our minds and psyche provide us with a sense of internal structure and function to navigate the world. It enables us to relate, appreciate, create, differentiate, connect and evolve - with so many other functions.

As humans, we tend to create ideals in our minds which may or may not be realistic. When we impose these ideals on others or the collective, we are dismissing their realities. Our minds may not be the best judge of realism vs ideals. To be accepted into the collective, individuals often pursue the idealistic way of perceiving and pursuing the world.

Despite this, our minds provide our conscious selves with an intrinsic system to navigate our immediate surroundings.

I believe that each phase in our lives also serves us to grow and evolve into our full selves. As a community, we must support one another as we grow into our fullest selves. When we impose ideals on one another - we stunt the overall effective growth of the community.

Conflicts arise when we dismiss our and others' realities. Once we dare to look beyond the systems that exist in ourselves and notice where these patterns emerge from, we begin to free ourselves from generational and emotional suppression.

Our conscious mind plays an important role in this shift. The art of noticing is a mindful and intentional practice. With this, it is possible to flow through different characters, until we reach a point where we are free to be ourselves - whatever it means to be.

Without our minds, any kind of perception or comprehension would not be possible. With all of my heart, I offer gratitude to the mind that supports me and gives me strength while I navigate and surrender to this chaotic existence. 

Giving Up The Idea Of You

People need to start being less afraid of what lies ahead. We all make meanings from our life's narratives and we think that's important.

I have come to recognize that when we unconsciously restrict ourselves towards certain ways of being or a personality, we restrict ourselves from experiencing occurrences outside of this realm. 

Creating habits is another form of control. Of course, having routines encourages us to ground into our day-to-day lives. It gives us a sense of stability, and space to practise our skills and explore our limits.  However,  it is crucial that this structure is simply a basic form and allows life's fluidity to play a part in it too.

We want to be perceived in a way that is fractional compared to the reality of our wholesome existence. I wonder why we try to control others' perception of us? It's just that there's so much to us than just our rendition of our realities. Our sense of self is vulnerable to constant change. Unfortunately, we can never see it, until it is opportune.

However, when we free ourselves from anyone's perception of us, including ourselves, we open to new ways of responding to circumstances.

These changes are minuscule as they are intangible. But still strong forces that influence the direction of our life.

Ultimately, that's the point of being human. To be vulnerable and open to what life has to offer. There is nothing to show, and no one to impress. There's everything to experience. The highs, the lows, the beautiful, the ugly, the pain, the pleasure - all of it. I wish we to learn to surrender to the experience of being human. It's what it means to be alive.

I wish we didn't hold so many ideas of how we think life should turn out. It creates so much stress, anxiety and tension in our bodies. There is never a sense of safety that we assume will be on the other side. 

When we just show up to the moment or intend that things will be what they need to be, we remove force from the equation of life. Life is experienced fully - in the stillness and in the surrendered flow.

No expectations are a place of possibilities where anything can happen. I think that life has wonderful ways of holding us through surrender.  We just need to leap and allow nature to take its course. 

Cease Defining the 'I'

I noticed that as humans, we unconsciously define ourselves. Whether it is through star signs or MBTI quiz, as an introvert/ extrovert or through our hobbies.

The thing is, the 'I' can never be defined. Because as humans, and biological beings, we are constantly shifting and evolving. When we define ourselves under any labels, our psyche is influenced by this. Our behaviours are reflected and aligned with this label.

There are many versions of 'I'. Some, that we might not even be aware of. When we cease defining an 'I' we are free to make decisions appropriate to what is required in the moment, rather than based on a preconception.

When we define the 'I', we restrict ourselves from making decisions about what is most suitable at the moment. Sometimes, an appropriate step can also conflict with our beliefs. Releasing any pre-notions of the 'I' can actually serve as liberating for us.

When we observe ourselves as biological beings, rather than philosophical ones, we honour our true state of being. This state is the reflection of accepting what exists at the moment.

'Be where your feet are'

This practice helps us truly ground into the moment, and into our bodies. All our energy resources are focused on channelling and creating from a place of the present moment. Any change from the past to the future is possible only, in the present. The present is the only reality that exists.

Our minds can only think linearly. It doesn't allow space for chance. However, when we surrender to what is, it creates space for different networks to join in and create a range of possibilities, beyond our comprehension. 

By ceasing to define the 'I' we also open up a space of possibilities. To inculcate new beliefs, and to open up to new preferences. It supports the flow of our life and encourages us to actively be a part of it as a fluid component: transient, and ever-changing. It is an act of surrender and trust concerning our life. A space where clarity emerges. 

The Voice in Our Mind

While I was reading Michael Singer's The Surrender Experiment, I became aware of the voice in my mind. I usually associate the voice in my mind with thoughts - a reflection of my state of mind and consciousness.

When I was reading the book, I became hyper-aware of it. And I realized that the voice always wants to comment - on whatever's happening right now or predict what's gonna happen next. It somehow wants to always have the last say in any circumstances.

The voice is, of course, a reflection of my nervous system. It is also a narrator of my past stories; an expression of my subconscious patterns. The voice in our mind is a linguistic pre-conditioner. It prepares you to face/ meet the upcoming event. It likes being prepared. It likes being ready. It likes to presume. It is curious, protects our sense of self and wants to be acknowledged.

A part of this system stems from our ego, our self-identity - a system that allows us to make sense of our world. As humans, we are just built that way.

To become more aware of my own voice, I embodied its presence, just like I do with all of my emotions. I realized that its energy was intense and fast-paced. It was also really heavy. Its energy expressed the weight of all the ideas and expectations that I have been carrying through my life.

It is a system that controls our ways of being. It assumes our reality as sole and final. It realized that it wanted to control and protect me. It is critical. Its guards are up. Precautionary. It takes things personally. I thought that this voice could also be a representation of my inner child. Because when I separated myself from it, I noticed the fears of a child.

I recognized some patterns of voice, and how they affected my behaviour. It had so many ideas that held me back. Knowing this was painful. But gosh, I felt so much lighter!

And at some point, I just wanted to give myself up. By this, I mean the idea of me. Strangely, this happened easily. I was not expecting this ease.

One thing that keeps us conflicted in our ways of being - is having to explain ourselves. No matter how much we explain to others, if their consciousness doesn't resonate with ours, there's no way they can comprehend our truth.

I have been practising this aspect of responses. I do not have to honour each impulse to explain myself. There is only an extent to which this is possible. Communication comes on one side, and comprehending the response comes on the other side.

I hope that we learn to go beyond the voice of reason. So much of life lay beyond it. Pure Surrender and Divine Love. 

Giving a Voice to Our Discomforts

Some circumstances can annoy us. Once we are aware of this, we can begin giving a voice to our discomforts. Our annoyed responses are simply the tip of the iceberg. The source of our pain is usually something else, layers below.

I realized that we can get afraid to know the source of our pain. It could shatter our cosy illusory life. However, without getting in touch with the roots of our pain, it is difficult to move on from our past. Like sweeping under the rug. If we don't clear it when we want to move through it, we could trip over it. And there is only a limit up to which we can tolerate dismissing our pain. At some point, it could express itself as an emotional outburst. I hope it never comes to that.

Some circumstances can trigger us to our core. Sometimes, we fear confronting it. Because facing it would mean revealing a possibly ugly truth about ourselves. This can be a painful experience. Especially one who has been trying their best to be a good human.

                                                           

Sometimes we need to break our own hearts. It's necessary for our spiritual and emotional growth. We can't run away from our bad/ shadow selves. Facing it would require us to face our truth, and to even forgive ourselves for mistakes.

In a world where we have learned that we need to punish the bad, forgiving ourselves might not come easy. In fact, before we even reach the space of acceptance and forgiveness, the experience will require us to grieve - shattering an illusion which we have lived a good measure of time, possibly even identify with.

In the beginning, I broke down a lot - as I faced many ugly truths about myself and the world. It was an exhausting process. Because as I let one thing go, something else came up. All these illusions were different and of varying degrees. Some I couldn't even comprehend. But many that were abstract, and some heavy feelings that needed to be felt.

Once you get used to shattering your illusions, you learn to face your truths headstrong. You learn to be courageous in the face of shadows. You learn from your mistakes. You learn to respond differently and think with compassion and empathy - for yourself and others. Most importantly, you learn to forgive yourself and love unconditionally.

This process will require you to give up so many of the illusions that you have unconsciously held as identities. It will require so many identities to die brutal deaths and give birth to nurturing attitudes and behaviours.

Artwork by Christine Owens

Face your raw wounds. Notice what lies beneath all the stories. What are you yearning for? Be honest with yourself. Don't be afraid of them. Get to know them. Just being aware of them will eventually free you from them. The objective is to be conscious of the times when your responses are snappy, rude or hurtful. Notice when you are projecting these behaviours and get curious about their underlying pain. Meet it. Give yourself the time to grieve the shattered illusion. And when you are ready for it, accept it.

Many learned patterns and behaviours were not intentional. Rather it was something that was conditioned or a biological response to your circumstance. You had no control over it - as a child, or an adult who was just unaware.

Now that you know better, realize you are only human. You will never be perfect. You cannot change your past. But you can learn to be a better human, who has learned to respond suitably. 

Connecting with Our Sensuality

Sensuality means to be connected with ourselves through our body's senses. Our bodies are expressions of our subconscious minds. All our stories and ideas of the world are contained in our bodies.

Sensuality is also an aspect of being aware of our true nature. It reminds us of all that we are, leaving behind everything that we are not. It allows us to be intentional throughout our days. It also allows us to experience and embrace our core nature without all the external labels. It makes for us to accept our life up to this movement.

My first ever experience of connecting with my sensuality was when I began to practise yoga. From the very beginning, yoga for me, was a spiritual experience more than a physical one. With every breath and every movement, I noticed that I was leaning into my discomfort. I started facing those aspects of myself that I usually would have turned away from. Yoga increased my capacity to face everything about myself that I was afraid of. I learned that there was nothing to be afraid of. Rather, to recognize and extract the barriers that kept me from me. To keep knowing myself a little bit more and more. 

Sensuality is freedom. It expresses the state of your mind. How comfortable you are within yourself

Connecting with our sensuality is integral in this day and age. In such a fast-paced world, when everyone is trying to keep up with the information and energy outside them, it is easy to disconnect from our internal world.

Our internal world is the source and the interpreter of our realities. It is integral that we make time for practices that connect and ground us back into our true nature. The more we practice this, the more we can share and express our purpose with the world.

Some of the ways you can connect with your sensuality include:

1. Natural movements - Bodywork
2. Floor work
3. Yoga
4. Meditation
5. Dance - in its many forms
6. Breathwork
7. Singing
8. Any form of creative pursuits
9. Any activity that gets your body connected to the energy within

A Practise:

Here's a bodywork practice that helps me connect with my sensuality.

Put on some music. This music can be anything - the sound of the waves, birds chirping, or just some ambient music. You can also use the rhythm of your breath for this practice.

Now, take a few breaths and connect with the energy in your body.

Let your energy flow. Start from the crown of your head. Roll it around a few times, then move right and left. Envision this energy lighting and moving from your head to neck. Start moving in the way that your body feels like.

Don't think. Just express. Initially, you might feel it's strange. Over time you'll feel comfortable.

Now as it moves through your neck, roll your shoulders. Let the energy move through them. Next to your chest and back. You can either take your front and back one at a time or together. Whatever you prefer. This is your practice.

Move lower. to your abdomen, lower back, and arms. Visualize the lit-up, glowy energy flowing through your body and energizing you - bringing you alive.

Allow your palms to touch the different parts of your body. You might feel hesitant in the beginning. Start with your arms, your face, your chest and your back. Let this caress be gentle, loving and slow.

Move on to your sacrum, your root space, your inner thighs, your knees, calves, shin and eventually your feet. Take your time as you move through this. Give each part the time it needs from you.

Whisper loving words to your body. "Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for being my home. Thanking for protecting me, and loving me with your wisdom. I love you so much" or anything that you feel like in the moment.

You can further exaggerate the movements as your body needs. Free your body. Let it express its abstract self. Move for as long as you like, and the way you like.

Let this practice, connect you with your true self. Raw. Undefined. Wild.

Happy Practising! 

A Blurb on Some Experiences

 I realized that I despised doing some things because others began to identify me with them.

Lately, I have been experiencing freedom and solace in deciding that people are free to have their opinions on me. And I have no reason to prove them otherwise. Shifting other people's opinions of me is just another form of control. 

However, this also made me realize that my responsibility is about clear communication. 

As humans, we sometimes create unreasonable measures,  and then blame ourselves when we can't meet it. Our conscious decisions are our seat of power and we need to leverage it to our advantage.

It's a new kind of freedom - to be intentional with your actions and choices. I experienced that the more I practised this, I got clarity on my intuition and boundaries. 

At the end of the day, we're going to remember our pursuits and what we experienced pursuing them. Leave the precautions behind. Do this for yourself. 

Just Another Day

We make sense of the world in such a microscopic way. It is easy for us to place a definition on occurrences. But, we should never blame ourselves for this. We just need to be aware of when such criticism is unnecessary.

These definitions or conclusions make it easier for us to weave our narratives in a festive knot. However, when we do this, we are not giving the circumstance a fair chance to fully reveal itself into its being.

Our perceptions can sometimes limit us. It is unable to paint the totality of the story. This is why we need to free ourselves from considering our perceptions as final.

We are but humans. Our stories are minuscule compared to the entirety of existence. We need to free ourselves from the burdens of defining our little world. When we cease to do this, we can free ourselves to just be a fleeting speck in the whirlwind of the universe. This is the essence of liberation.

We can lie to ourselves all we need, but our hearts yearn to experience our truth.

Many times, I remind myself to not take anything so seriously. However, in the mundanity of life, somehow we are swooped to believing that something else matters more than right now. Than us.

Every day is just another day.

Letting Go of Ideals and Freeing Yourself

We create these set of standards or shoulds in our minds - thinking that getting it, is what's going to keep us emotionally, physically and psychologically secure.

But our physical world is our universe. The universe moves through our physical worlds and reflects our inner state.

Not that having these standards will keep us bound. Rather it is a reminder of what we would like to create in our world. However, it becomes a limitation when we derive our sense of identity from these standards.

In my experience, I realized that no matter how many precautions we consider, something else shows up.

I noticed that I began having pleasant days when I let go of what it meant to have a good day. When I released the idea of what it should be, and instead became present in my days with what is, a heavy strain was released. Instead of trying to be something and forcing me or my surroundings to be what I wanted it to be - it became what it needed to be.

True freedom lies in surrender. Our ideas what they should be, can sometimes bind us into repetitive patterns. There's nothing new to experience, just everything that you know. How are you gonna experience new things if you are not willing to let go of what you know?

When you stick to your ideals, you continue the cycle of suffering. However, when you let go of them, you create space to be free in yourself. 

Honestly, this revelation has been so humbling to me. Every time I get back to perceiving something in my patterns, I remind myself that there's more to this, and I don't know everything. With this mindset, I can respond curiously and courteously, to know more about what lay within.

Many times, it's not about the circumstances itself. It's about the core needs that want to be met. Practising these responses teaches empathy and compassion. Most importantly, it teaches you to let go of vanity. It's a humbling process, as your ego will want to fight you with the shift in responses.

It teaches you to trust your experiences. To navigate the unknowns with presence and intentionality. 

But the more you stay true to the process, the more ideas you leave behind. It feels great to tread through life as lightly as possible. Let life delight you!

There's so much to everything than what you know. Don't stick to your ideals. Evolve as much as needed. There's always something more to unlearn and re-learn. Be an active participant. This is the beginning of a joyful time.

Let yourself go. 

Surrendering the Ideas, and Stepping into the Unknown

Today I received an insight. Everything we've ever experienced so far was because of a mind-led idea. We mould our lives with certain illusions - of how we think things should be. The stories and barriers alike. That's the extent to which we can experience our life.

We do things because we derive a sense of identity from it. Who would I be if I didn't do it? Who would I be if I did? Does anything change? Does it make me more me? Or less me?

What if we didn't necessarily hold an idea of what it 'should' be like?

Our minds can only carry an extent of information. In fact, our experiences or perceptions are never the whole truth. Our mind can comprehend only a fractal of the whole. So, who's to say we can trust the stories of our minds?

Sometimes, when I perceive a limited idea or feel stuck - I remind myself that this is the extent of my mind. I do not know beyond this. And I surrender to the doubts, confusion and curiosities. I have then been led to the next step as a natural progression.

Sometimes, we just need to keep down our ideas of what it should be like and be open to receiving what is. Only because we will never know what else is out there. In my experience, I have reached the extent that I couldn't even imagine whenever I have been led by intuition. In fact, I even found parts of me that I didn't know existed. This fascinated me the most!

Because no 2 human experiences are the same, eventually the expectations from life, though similar, will turn out differently for each.

What happens when keep down an idea? We enter a realm of the unknown with no expectations. Making space for ease and new possibilities.

I don't want to live what I know. I would like to experience what I don't know.