Dealing with Our Constricting Emotions

I think that people are so afraid of their negative emotions because it would lead them to a negative spiral of no return. We have been taught that these sticky feelings could mean something adverse about us. We are so afraid to experience these feelings because of what it could mean about us.

The emotions that are considered negative - such as anger, jealousy and envy are simply points of guidance. When we experience these feelings, it means that there is an unmet need beneath them. When we are unconscious of what we feel, our actions and behaviours are driven by our wounds. It causes us to project our pain onto external forces and control them to meet our needs. This can be due to the circumstances or other people.

Our internal perceptions give meaning to our outer world. When we experience these feelings, we feel an energy of constriction. It feels like the energy gets clumped up and ready to spit balls of fire onto the events (or people) that trigger us.

In reality, these feelings are just messengers. When we decide to be present or listen to the needs of these feelings, we make space for them. This is the beginning of loosening the tight grip on what the feeling itself, and what it means about us.

It's important to remember that most of our feelings are a natural, biological response to our circumstances. All of our nervous systems have different ranges of tolerance. So no matter the circumstance, all of us respond to the circumstance differently.

The further we go up in this scale, we experience the energy of expansion and free-spiritedness. In short, we can breathe comfortably. We feel peaceful. 

When we allow the negative feelings to fester, it brings us to a complete halt. So when we start meeting these sticky feelings - with curiosity and compassion, we begin meeting them at their energy or pace. When we pursue this, we begin freeing up the blocked spaces. This allows us to move towards feelings of neutrality - followed by a sense of calm, peace, contentment and joy.

A Practise:

The next time you feel a sticky emotion - something like irritation, annoyance, or any form of comparison - instead of rushing to soothe it, spend some time with it. get to know what it wants. In fact, you simply sit in embodied irritation or annoyance for a while. In this way, you really get to 'feel your feelings'.

Notice your breath when you're experiencing the negative emotion, and after you make space to experience it. You'll most probably notice that you're naturally breathing deeply. An outcome of the emotion which has got its need met.

PS - I do not consider any emotion as negative. I believe that each emotion has its purpose. However, in the context of this post, it becomes easier for me to describe the range of emotions.