Giving a Voice to Our Discomforts

Some circumstances can annoy us. Once we are aware of this, we can begin giving a voice to our discomforts. Our annoyed responses are simply the tip of the iceberg. The source of our pain is usually something else, layers below.

I realized that we can get afraid to know the source of our pain. It could shatter our cosy illusory life. However, without getting in touch with the roots of our pain, it is difficult to move on from our past. Like sweeping under the rug. If we don't clear it when we want to move through it, we could trip over it. And there is only a limit up to which we can tolerate dismissing our pain. At some point, it could express itself as an emotional outburst. I hope it never comes to that.

Some circumstances can trigger us to our core. Sometimes, we fear confronting it. Because facing it would mean revealing a possibly ugly truth about ourselves. This can be a painful experience. Especially one who has been trying their best to be a good human.

                                                           

Sometimes we need to break our own hearts. It's necessary for our spiritual and emotional growth. We can't run away from our bad/ shadow selves. Facing it would require us to face our truth, and to even forgive ourselves for mistakes.

In a world where we have learned that we need to punish the bad, forgiving ourselves might not come easy. In fact, before we even reach the space of acceptance and forgiveness, the experience will require us to grieve - shattering an illusion which we have lived a good measure of time, possibly even identify with.

In the beginning, I broke down a lot - as I faced many ugly truths about myself and the world. It was an exhausting process. Because as I let one thing go, something else came up. All these illusions were different and of varying degrees. Some I couldn't even comprehend. But many that were abstract, and some heavy feelings that needed to be felt.

Once you get used to shattering your illusions, you learn to face your truths headstrong. You learn to be courageous in the face of shadows. You learn from your mistakes. You learn to respond differently and think with compassion and empathy - for yourself and others. Most importantly, you learn to forgive yourself and love unconditionally.

This process will require you to give up so many of the illusions that you have unconsciously held as identities. It will require so many identities to die brutal deaths and give birth to nurturing attitudes and behaviours.

Artwork by Christine Owens

Face your raw wounds. Notice what lies beneath all the stories. What are you yearning for? Be honest with yourself. Don't be afraid of them. Get to know them. Just being aware of them will eventually free you from them. The objective is to be conscious of the times when your responses are snappy, rude or hurtful. Notice when you are projecting these behaviours and get curious about their underlying pain. Meet it. Give yourself the time to grieve the shattered illusion. And when you are ready for it, accept it.

Many learned patterns and behaviours were not intentional. Rather it was something that was conditioned or a biological response to your circumstance. You had no control over it - as a child, or an adult who was just unaware.

Now that you know better, realize you are only human. You will never be perfect. You cannot change your past. But you can learn to be a better human, who has learned to respond suitably.