Releasing Blocks

Blocks are the stories that unconsciously hold us back. These stories are ingrained deep into our nervous system. The stories have amounted in many ways. In our inherent natures, our upbringing, and the context we are in. It is even intergenerational. So many blocks we experience have begun long before we came into existence.

Our body consists of many energetic vortices. Each of these carry a story of their own. As emotions constantly shift in the day, we also respond from a place of a different vortex, in each moment. It all depends on what is happening at the moment.

Each vortex offers its own set of story, beliefs, values, responses and state of mind. Anytime we decide to experience a block, these stories come alive in our bodies. At this point, our bodies might react aggressively. This is a protective mechanism at play.

Artwork by Sanjana Mallya 

Each cell is a Universe

However, when we centre ourselves to experience the fullness of the vortex, the story gradually softens. The story itself begins to lose its grip on you. This is the beginning of a true transformation.

At any point in the day, ask yourself - 'what is my reality right now?'. Your body can immediately convey this in the form of energy, and you'll know what it's saying.

Anytime you are experiencing a block, ask yourself - 'what is blocking me from pursuing this?'. Again, your answers will be experienced through your body. At this point, you can experience an entire vortex realm. At this point the block begins softening - dissolving its grip on you, little by little.

Keep practising for any block coming in the way. It is not a linear process. Any emotion can show up at any time. And each have their own needs.

You can experience facing the block, in many ways. The more you practise this, you cultivate a stronger intuition. After a point, it might be easier for you to create your own practice.

Most of our blocks are internal, energetic ones. Until we fully allow it to be experienced, it remains suppressed in our system. These blocks show up in our everyday life. The intention with which we pursue our day, how we convey our feelings or communicate with others, our body language - even our self-concept.

The process requires us to be willing to experience the block. Else energetically it feels like the proverbial 'sweeping under the rug' situation. So when it gets too much, you'll either trip over it or burst at the seams.

Experiencing our blocks is crucial for our emotional health. I really hope that you decide to leap and face them. You don't have to do them all at once. You can allow them to trickle through. This is how you learn to cultivate the capacity to experience your freedom.

Looking into yourself, and getting to know you - is the bravest thing you'll ever do for yourself.

Feeling the Bad Feelings

Today I received an insight. Why am I running away from the emotions that are usually considered bad?

I had been feeling despair and emptiness. Why have I not allowed myself to feel them before?

Unconsciously, we are so afraid of our volatile or tantrum-like emotions. We think that experiencing them will be the end of us. We believe that experiencing or expressing them will render us an inconvenient human. But it's not so. Experiencing these feelings will temporarily put us through discomfort, yes. But it will also free us. It creates space for new experiences.

All of our emotions - the good and bad, all want us to experience them. Today was one such day. Now although I have been present with the most abstract of my emotions, I realized that I didn't sit with the most basic of them.

When we selectively choose to experience our emotions, we can't the extent of our wholeness. When we suppress the painful emotions, we also suppress the joyful and easeful ones. 

I had put away experiencing the most obvious bad feelings. Unhappiness, despair, insecurities, emptiness, loneliness.

Sometimes all we need is to go back to the basics. Sometimes we are just unhappy. And there's nothing more to it.

What Are You Aware of Right Now?

Awareness is comprehension. It is what you inherently believe. It is the narration with which you operate - self-concept. It's the perception and ideas that are generated from this space.

When we operate from a belief, it reflects how we do anything and everything. It is the outreach towards which we are willing to extend ourselves. It is the possibilities that we are willing to explore. It is the general space of our existence.

Usually, we do not seek to know what we are not aware of. When we are present, we notice the existence of all that is.

Everything, even the people that exist in our reality is a reflection of us. Everything in our reality includes spaces of containment and flow. The flows are the extent to which we can align with. The containments are areas of our shadows. There might be many reasons why we might hold ourselves back. However, these are the areas of possibilities - of growth and expansion.

Sometimes, unconsciously we do not go beyond our extents. Maybe it's because we have never been here before. However, our barriers are internal. So if at any point, you see yourself holding yourself back from doing anything in reality, it is because there is an internal block or the extent is limited.

However, everything in our human life is for spiritual clarity and development. It is how we show up to our life. It is our connection with the source and our physical life.

Ever since I have grasped the transience of life and how fragile your life, the moments and your people are, I can do nothing but linger. I just want to cherish each moment what it is and not take anything for granted.

As humans, we are bound by our physical capacity. This limitation grounds our knowing. It really keeps perspective on what's really important.

Ever since I have been through spiritual shifts, I have been noticing that everything around me is an illusion. Nothing is real. Not even our beliefs. They are all stories that make us believe that we make sense.

However, despite all this knowing, I would really love to cherish my time here on earth. Spend my moments with my loved ones, laugh with them, cook for them and just be there for them.

I want to love people as they are, for what they are and not hold back. I just want to be here and experience the fullness and the wildness of life.

I wish some words would fully express my gratitude, but for now, I'll keep this.   

On Attachments

Attachment is a repeated narration that we provide for our circumstances. When a certain circumstance shows up in our lives, we perceive it through our biased lens. So we can interpret the circumstances as 'good' or 'bad'.

This bias is generally a culmination of our past experiences stored in our bodies. This includes our thought processes and opinions too. So rather than an intentional story that is provided toward an unknown experience, it is a reflexive response - a prediction of sorts. Even when it is not the same circumstance.

Attachments are tethers of the past. These stories, however, influence the patterns of repeated cycles. Unless we are aware of an attachment pattern governing our lives, we will be unable to disrupt it.

When we begin to perceive our life circumstances as a natural flow of events, we get to step out of the loop and not micromanage it. All our stress is generated when we try to control our circumstances.

I recently came across a theme in non-duality that fascinated me, and freed me, that - 'everything just is'. We analyse our life events - 'if I could have just done this, or if I knew better'. We assume we would have been in control of an event in hindsight.

But, the reality is, that we never get to experience hindsight in our present. The thing is that things wouldn't have been different, it's just how it is. This is why I have inferred that I need to do what I can right now with what I have, instead of imposing what-ifs based on external possibilities.

When we practise breaking these attachment patterns one story at a time, we realize that these bounds are only internal. It opens you up to reach out and experience new ways of life.

Attachments keep us bound to an illusion. At every step, we need to remember that we are not the story, and at any moment we have the power to challenge the old narratives and bring in the new.

It is a way of shattering many illusions and experiencing the true nature of your life

Your Life is your Badge of Honour

I was going through life being so stressed about how people perceived me, my life and all their opinions of me. But then, a realization dawned upon me. That my life is mine alone. It is my precious gift and my badge of honour. That only I have lived and experienced my life.

I am gonna experience, create, remember and cherish each detail of my life. My wins, my losses, everything I have overcome to show up for this moment. It is not for anyone to label, scrutinize or criticize. My life's business is my territory.

I wrote this post to remind me that nothing is set in stone. That life can take unexpected turns as it pleases. Lately, I have realized that I no longer want to live to show others. I want to live for me, for what my precious life means to me. I want to experience life for what it is - its chaos and its uncertainty. And to somehow along the way - express myself, learn, grow, connect with people, show up for myself and do my best while I am here.  

Moving past Limitations - Managing our Protective Responses

Now that we are aware and learning to expand our boundaries, we might experience a new set of triggers. These triggers fall along the lines of being unfamiliar, and not used to a certain activity. And not because it is a threat to us.

Still, when charting new territories, we might flare up, and experience a lot of anxiety. Getting to the root of anxiety can relay our core needs.

Once we know this, we can ease into the circumstance. Of whether we open ourselves more to it, or retreat for a while. The best way is to dip your toes into the circumstance. If it feels intense you can come out, and practise dipping your feet again, trickle by trickle.

The idea is to practise nervous system regulation in a new circumstance. Sometimes these changes can feel intense. However just like the seed requires an intense energy to crack open its life form, it's the same with our limits. Once we open, it creates a new ground of experiences for us.

The idea is that we need to allow our protective mechanism to exist for us to shield us, in the right circumstances, not to shut off. Remember your protective mechanism is a survival instinct.

Your greatest skill would be about discerning which circumstances are growth-related, and those that are repeating a past pattern. Once you understand the intention behind this, you can learn to manage it appropriately to your circumstances.  This opens space to navigate and connect with other humans, rather than shutting off. 

Owning Your Truth

In today's world where we are constantly competing against one another in different forms of the rat race, the fight of who's best - we forget our true sense.

Our true sense of self comes from all that we have experienced in our life, that is unique to us. However in this race, the measures have got nothing to do with our internal strengths, and everything to meet a standard that is imposed upon us.

Most of these standards have become so normalized in human society, that we don't even get that it is collective manipulation. Unfortunately many of these measures have been ingrained in our daily lives. Right from the idea of what time we should walk, what we should wear, what we read, the news, opinions on what we eat - everything.

However, once we get curious about the actions we pursue and the intentions behind them - it reveals whether we are in an automatic mode or a deliberate creation mode.

Many times when you pursue things that are outside your box, might stun others and you might receive unsolicited advice that might influence you to retreat into your old ways.

But the thing is, our natural strengths can many times differ from what we have been qualified to pursue.

This is where the trust in ourselves is tested. When we surrender to our life experiences, we receive intuitive guidance on how we should carry forward.

Our life experiences are unique to us. So many components of our lives converge to bring us to the present moment. Our inherent personality & traits, our collective cultures, our primary conditioning and the lessons we have learned from all of this. All of these qualities make one unique to you. There is no one else who is the same as you.

And this is where your power lies. That there is just one of you and many others. Anytime we might compare ourselves with others, it is good to remind us that 'we are not the same'. There are so many different conditions that brought 2 people to a similar stage. But this doesn't give anyone the authority to criticize one against the other. Each experience is incomparable to another.

We are all made of multitudes, all one of a kind. Like snowflakes. When you own your truth, you honour the reality of all your experiences.

When you recognize and expand upon your strengths, it is easier to be of service in your rightful regard. Other skills can always be learned along the way.

I believe that if we want to pursue excellence in anything, all it requires is the will, the determination, the commitment to follow through and a tonne of practice.

You have just got to show up every day, and pursue ideas that encourage you to honour your truth in all possible ways! You are always evolving. Allow yourself to be transformed in ways that you never thought possible, in the process!  

Tuning Back into Our Reality

When our emotional triggers activate a survival response, we often feel like something within us is fleeing.

Usually, it is our trust or sense of self that seems to energetically flee. Instead doubts and criticisms set in. This is the point where we experience self-abandonment.

Our core abandonment issues begin with us. When we are not on our side. We only believe in external validations, rather than trusting our inherent values or our strengths. 

The triggers that show up are primal responses. When we have not learned to emotionally regulate ourselves, we believe other people's narratives of us.

However, daily when we practice meeting the root of our own false narratives - the judgements, criticisms, and comparison, we see that beyond it all our primal self is just looking out for us. By telling us stories that would require us to meet a certain standard.

However, when we decide to show up imperfectly, in our capacity and do the best we can, we give ourselves the permission to be bold and refine ourselves as we move forth.

When triggered, amid the negative spiral, you can remind yourself that the mind's narrative isn't true. Although it might take some time for the mind to believe this, give your mind the time and space to believe this. Ground into the truth of your statement.

And as you calm down, remind yourself that every moment is an opportunity to practice the truth of you. Show up, again and again. Until it becomes who you are.

We can read as many self-help books, know about the next best philosophical ideology, and talk to therapists or other coaches. But more than this we need to hold ourselves accountable for how we show up for ourselves and our world, how we apply what we learn in our daily practice, and where we increase our suffering.

The point is to decide and move forward in your journey. No looking back. Of course, there will be times when you feel like you've been brought back 100 steps. Allow yourself to fall, a lot! So you can trust yourself to get back up.

The reliability of ourselves increases when we learn to navigate the uncertainty with deep trust in ourselves. Remember, the storms, and the discomfort, eventually pass. Until then, be present with it. 

The Hush

Everyone has something to say. Why can't it be quiet? Why do you always have to make meaning of something, and not just experience life for what is? I am just so tired of the labels, of these interpretations, these boxes. I do not want to check them anymore. In fact, I don't even care for it.

What's the point? Life will take you on its own tangent. Who are you even? Your thoughts are not yours, neither are your beliefs. So are you here, just to surrender yourself to the grand scheme? What does it make of you then? That you are a mere puppet? and nothing is in your hands anymore?

I am just so tired of pursuing, trying, and persevering. What for? I haven't gotten the results that I was striving for.

So tell me, what even is real anymore?

The Pursuit of Something Else

As a society, we have been conditioned to strive towards a proverbial 'good life'. But the thing is, a good life signifies differently for each person.

Our society has been structured to create a life that fits these boxes. However, these structures only lead toward intense competition amongst varyingly distinct individuals. It is a superficial race meeting the set standards for status, fame, success and the stability of being settled in life.

Everyone has different capacities to tolerate these patterns. At some point, you become aware that the set structure of life is not all that is cut out to be. We may even tick the boxes that we are supposed to, but internally it might feel that something is missing.

I believe that all of us need different things in life. Our sense of inner fulfilment differs in all that we do. It's all a nuance. When we begin meeting the inner requirements, rather than checking the external lists, it becomes the beginning of connecting with our true essence.

I believe that all of us have different purposes in life. Some of us have few, and some of us may have many. The purpose can evolve in phases throughout the lifetime, or it can remain the same. Of this all, I believe that all of us are here because we belong here, and because we're a part of a grand scheme. Even if we can't see it.

At some point, when we begin valuing our presence and how we show up for ourselves and others, we become responsible for what we are contributing to the world. Our sole responsibility starts with us, with how we manage the conflicts with us - so we can connect with ourselves, and the world around us.

Spiritually, all of us just want to be here and now. We want to experience the fullness of our living moments. We do not want to keep striving for something outside us, to tick the boxes that someone else set for us. We do not want to be bound by expectations. We want to listen to what we want without the layer of other people's opinions on it. We want to pursue the reality of us.  

Eventually, all we want to be is ourselves. Whether it makes sense to others or not. We just want to live and express the unfiltered, raw, carefree versions of ourselves that make us feel glad to be alive!  

You Create your Life and your Zen

Creating your life is a two-way street. Life has a way of flowing in its natural rhythm. And as much as we'd like to believe we are in control of our lives and destiny, I believe that just a percentage of it is true. Life truly has its way of humbling us when we get too ahead of ourselves.

Most of the circumstances are out of our control, except what we choose to do with our present moment. And what we inculcate in our daily routines.

Despite the chaotic flow of life, we need to learn to face what shows up. Everything that shows up, allows us to choose how we engage with it. How we engage with the circumstance is how we perceive ourselves.

As humans, we are bound by some internal limitations. If we want to pursue something that doesn't tick the boxes of who we are, we need to learn to bypass these limitations. These limitations show up as our self-concept. Many times, we don't want to seem annoying, brash, selfish, or foolish. Anything that is labelled is a limitation. In the pursuit of not coming across a certain way in front of other people, we lose out on immersing in an authentic process of breaking through our internal barriers.

Are you willing to let go of the beliefs that hinder you from reaching your truest self?

The source of everything we are exists inside us. The beauty, the love, the joy, the light. The zen that you experience (or you think exists outside of you) in nature, is the zen that exists in you. Having said this, the qualities we don't like in others reflect the criticisms we carry for ourselves.

The point is that we manage what shows up for us. Everyone's life experiences are exclusive of one another. So no two life experiences are the same. You play the cards that you are dealt with.

What keeps you from believing life is right here now? What keeps you from believing that nothing comes in the way of what is meant for you?

But you've got to commit to meet your life where you are at, to meet it in your capacity.

Life's what you make it, so let's make it right! - Hannah Montana :D  

Keeping Cool in the Summer

As the summer approaches here in Mumbai, it's got me feeling restless. The heat just makes me want to lay low, and not move out and around outside too much. When the heat starts impacting our body, it begins impacting our moods too.

A lot of our responding mechanisms generate heat internally, including the reactive ones which we are habituated to. Anything that stimulates us, generates in our bodies. Our triggers generate heat in our bodies. This creates sweaty palms or scalps, hot flashes, and such. Our inspiration also generates heat in us. But when we act on our inspiration, it calms down our body physiologically.

A lot of times when we come face to face with triggering situations in our lives, heat is generated in our bodies. This might activate our survival instincts and push us into a spiral of debilitating thoughts.

However, when we become aware of our triggers, we create a space of deliberate pause. This in a way calms our reflexive response to make way for an intentional response. When we practise pause, we slightly lower our temperatures - calming our responses. Assuring us subconsciously, that we don't need to flee yet, that it is safe here.

Strangely enough, for the first time something triggering inspired me. The heat has been getting me to and unconsciously causing me irritation.

When I thought for a second about what I do to calm this response, I decided that I needed to cool my body. Our slow responses are a great source of calm and cool in our bodies.

However, there are some other ways that you can keep cool in this heat:

1. Replenishing your body temperature with cool drinks. Cool water, saunf (fennel seeds) in water drink, lemon juice, sugar cane juice, fruit juice with mint or cold milk.

2. Consuming alkaline food that generates a sense of coolness in the body. Also, the food that has water content in it. Cucumber, orange, juicy pear, musk melon, watermelon.

3. Bathing with cold water

4. Wearing light-coloured and light-material clothes. Allow your fits to be loose to allow easy blood circulation.

5. Other than this, you can also carry an umbrella, and wear sunglasses and a cap to protect your extremities from exposure to generous heat.

6. If the windows in your room have curtains, cover them when the sun's glare is too much. I usually also keep the windows closed. This allows the cool fan air to circulate within your room. If you have an a/c or cooler, you can use it till the room gets cool enough. Then you'll not need to depend on this energy for a while. This method saves your electric expenses too.

7. If you have the resources, you can take a towel, and wet it in water (cool or normal temperature). Dab this along your face or the areas on your body (including the scalp) that feel hot, and sit under the fan. Alternatively, you can also use ice.

Whenever I practise these, I notice that my body feels cooler, and pleasant, and can connect intentionally with others. The irritation or the need to snap minimizes, and I feel better about the present moment. 

This is also a good time to practise the pause and respond intentionally. A win-win for physical, mental, and emotional health. 

PS I am not a nutrionist. And I have only included pointers that I have learned or experienced.

The Pleasure in Aimlessness

When I talk about aimlessness, these cute little terms come to mind - stroll, wander, frolicked, saunter, dilly-dally, loiter and dawdle. These terms express a relaxed pace.

Aimlessness is pleasurable. you set out to pursue something with no goal in mind. The point is, to begin.

It has the energy of non-expectations, of surrender. It encourages the spirit of curiosity. An aimless pursuit allows you to explore in any and many ways possible.

When you set out with a definite outcome, you might have rigid views of getting there. But when you are involved in the creative process of making something happen not knowing how you'll get there, or just being involved in it, the outcome will be the least of your expectations. What matters more is the flow of ideas, and what it all would eventually reveal to be.

Any goals, aspirations or targets can easily be revealed through aimlessness. It is a process of treading through unknown paths in jest. This relaxed, meandering and carefree nature of the pursuit allows the mind to connect with the true source within you, and reveal ideas, and patterns to unlearn and move toward the next phase of action.

My past life was a lot about striving - focused, channelled, and moving forward with grit and determination that had no end. Now when I look back, this process seems restricted. I wanted to work with a specific outcome so bad that I didn't consider the possibility of exploring any subject in a myriad of ways. To reach new conclusions or possibilities.

Sometimes, I like to reflect on my past self. Because it shows me that whether I was the person then, or am the person now, I am still me.

Thankfully, unlearning feels like a roller coaster, taking you to new extremes and possibilities - where you didn't know you'd be okay there. Maybe even have some fun in the process.

Aimlessness requires you to let go of what you thought a process should be. Instead, it allows you to lose yourself in new directions - to express yourself through creative means. This is the magic in the unknown - that anything can be possible. 

The Art of Noticing

It is the intention behind our interpretations. Our state of mind is created based off of what we are noticing. As we go through life, our brains are constantly interpreting - by receiving sensory inputs and interpreting them based on our beliefs. 

These interpretations have an influence on the stories that are created in our minds. And how we respond to these stories is based on our subconscious beliefs about ourselves.

As this is an unconscious process, we might not be aware of what we are noticing. However, whenever our overall state of mind feels hopeless, or critical - we can unpack these emotions to get to the root of what we are noticing and why we do it.

We always have a choice to be selective of what we notice. When we are habituated to notice and create something hurtful in our minds, we are going to feel that way. However, when we notice that our brain is leaning toward complaining about something, resenting someone or avoiding our situation - we can instantly choose to take a moment to step back.

What is it about this circumstance that is making me feel low? What am I interpreting from this circumstance? Is this true? Allow yourself to express yourself extensively. Be open with yourself. Transparency begins with you.

When we do this, we can take this moment to think for ourselves and what it means for our conditioned mind. Our conditioned mind is a set of unconscious and habituated responses that our autonomic nervous system (based on past experiences) uses when triggered by a circumstance.

The only block is when we believe a circumstance is keeping us from leading towards our goals or fulfilling life.

When the source of pain is revealed to us in this process, we can now work on managing our relationship with this trigger - based on its intensity. Some triggers might soften instantly, and some might require more time.

However, the idea is to ease into the trigger and once revealed, its course of action and shifts. This process is how we can learn to create or increase the capacity of our nervous system.

To be honest, I believe that this work is one of the most important life work you'll ever get. Once you nurture the responses to your triggers, you can connect more with yourself - and in turn, connect with others.

Humanity thrives on human connections. When we take responsibility towards healing our inner wars, the more we heal the collective wounds. It all begins with us.

Internal Experience: The Source of Our Worldly Experience

Our internal interpretations are how we experience the outer world. Our internal world is an unconscious expression of the biological responses we have experienced through social interactions. It tells a story of us. We believe this story is us. However, when we believe in this story, we remain stagnant. Once we are aware of how we respond to anything that shows up in our lives, we can make the necessary shifts to move beyond this realm.

Our internal experience is our world. It is how we perceive the outside world, through the lens of us. This lens is so embedded in us that we believe these stories to be us. However, these are only biological responses based on the past events of our lives. It is personal to us. Therefore, no matter what we experience in this internal world, it seems real to us. As an evolving human, we must honour these experiences for ourselves, even if it doesn't make sense to others.

Whatever we experience in this inner world, is how we experience the outer world. So, when we are rude, judgemental, critical or hard on ourselves, this is the level of hostility we perceive of the outside world. However, when we begin softening within ourselves, showing compassion, grace, and forgiveness, and giving ourselves the chance and the space to make mistakes, we create a fluid space to hone our true selves. And this is exactly how we begin communicating with others too - through a connecting mindset.

Our internal world is constantly interpreting the outside world. This is an unconscious function of the brain. It is an automatic function. However, to shift our stories, we need to be mindful of the stories that prop up. It's not possible to be aware of all the stories that do. However let's say in the event where you might feel resentful, critical or mean about others, unpack the thought process.

What part of me is critical of this circumstance? Why does it feel threatened? What about me does it want to defend from others? 

The more you get to know this part from which the thought process, originates, the more you can change your emotional relationship with it. From a hostile/defensive nervous system to that we cultivate connections with others.

Our nervous system is an expression of our internal world. It is how we navigate our world. It is also how we perceive ourselves with the outside world. The more you practise harbour connection within yourself, the more you can do so while relating with others too.

Our internal world is the source of our outer world. It is our responsibility to tend to it while honouring our abstract realities. Differences hold possibilities. And this is the best possible way to nurture loving connections with others.

On Stillness and Subtle Changes

Stillness is a space where anything is possible. It is a space of nothingness, of non-identification and non-judgement. It is a space of choice, of pivot. It is a space where time no longer exists, and presence takes over. 

We experience our outer world through our inner world. As our life progresses, we are constantly perceiving our external world through our internal reality. Our interpretation is constantly on the go.

Many times these interpretations can be the source of our triggers. These triggers neurologically lead us to a space of fight or flight. This is an in-built survival mechanism which is activated when we experience an unconscious threat.

When we lead our moments with intention, and we face a triggering circumstance, we always have the choice to take a step back. More often than not, we spiral low with our mind's linear interpretation of our life's circumstances.

But our realities are never as they seem. They are just a fraction of what we can humanly comprehend. So many of the mind's linear stories show up based on collective assumptions and thought processes. However, when we intend to experience this stillness, instead of focusing on the 'should be' we make space to challenge our beliefs. It creates space for infinite possibilities, incomprehensible to the human mind.

As humans, we are finite beings. There is a limitation to our comprehension. When we actively participate in our life flow, we create a harmonious relationship between ourselves and our lives.

Stillness is a focal point of power. As gentle and laid back as it may seem, it has the infinite power to change our realities.

A practice for stillness:

Stillness can be experienced in many forms. I like to experience stillness in a few ways.

One way is by taking a step back when I get too engrossed in my mind's narratives. The second is by closing my eyes and matching my breathing patterns with the energy in my body. In this way, I connect with the abstractness of my inner reality and experience it for what is.

I'm sharing a practice that can be used amid a circumstance that is out of your control. When you feel triggered and you notice that your mind is about to commence a choicest narrative that is hurtful of you, bring yourself back into your awareness. 'this is just a story, this is just a belief, it is not set in stone'.

More often than not you are not going to believe this. I didn't. Still, the point of speaking up this statement is to remind yourself that there is more to this story, and it is not all there is. If anything, it brings you to a point of level-headedness, to help you cope with a suitable response to the circumstance at hand.

I. Now one way is to slowly ease into your presence by trickling - one second at a time. As you allow this, you connect with your reality (your capacity) and respond neutrally. Which is way better than being reactive in that circumstances.

Reaction reinforces your hurtful beliefs. A response is a beginning towards changing your beliefs. It is a way of softening. It helps you to mindfully change your relationship with past beliefs. One moment at a time.

Artwork by Sanjana Mallya 

Titled 'Peak Stillness, Harmony'

II. If the circumstances allow you, close or open your eyes. Whatever your option may be, focus on a point. Connect to this point and keep breathing with it. Gently keep patting your heart space for a somatic level of reassurance. You can also tell yourself - 'This is not all there is, there is more to this. It is not all' Or whatever statement your heart calls forth to hear to ground yourself, back into the moment.

I believe that this stillness is what is needed to bring yourself back into an equilibrium of your natural essence - joy and bliss. The changes are never gonna be a 360-degree turn. The infinitesimal scale of changes might make you wrongly believe that nothing is happening. But it's these subtle shifts that snowball into larger changes.

The point is to just begin. Now is all it is, and all there is.

Cultivating Internal Bliss

I enjoy meditation. It is a practice that reminds me to ground back into my energy. It activates my true nature, which is blissful.

I like to free flow with my meditation. Once I close my eyes my body naturally leads me to the practice I need. This ease has come from a place of continuous practice

One of my favourite practices during meditation is a body scan. It is a practice of intentionally releasing the grip of the energy (patterns, stories, habits) that we unconsciously hold tight in our bodies.

Even our deepest feelings are at the surface level. Letting go of the old story is as easy as letting go of a pencil. Sometimes letting go can also look like loosening your grip on a story.

The Practise:

Be cross-legged seated on the floor, a mat, grass or the sand on a beachfront. Stretch your neck side to side, and carry out a few stretches that would ease your body to enter into an intensive meditation space. Once you are ready, close your eyes.

Take a few breaths to match the energy in your body. Once you can do this, your breaths will automatically get deeper. Take your time with this. Your comfort is of utmost priority in this practice.

Once you are ready, begin scanning your body. This practice can begin in any part of your body. However, I prefer to usually begin this from my crown. Slowly, start moving lower. Towards your forehead, your eyebrows, your nose, your cheeks, and your chin. I usually move this focus inch by inch, to fully experience this subtle opening.

As you continue this practice, you can notice your subtle body softening. Your body parts begin feeling more relaxed and present in the now.

Continue this practice lower in your body - in your heart space, your chest, your arms your elbows, the fingers, toes, thighs, calves - the pelvic region, the sacral space, and the root space.

As you scan through, notice all the spaces in your body that crave your presence. These parts are usually the deliberately suppressed parts - the shadows, that we usually ignore.

Give these parts your unconditional and loving presence. Let them be seen, and in case they want to share something, allow them to. Let this be a space of pure expression and non-judgement. There are going to be no consequences for this. We are just creating space for our internal integration.

Once your body scan is complete, spend some time breathing into the newly open space. Take your time, as much as you need. Allow your body to relay when it wants to be done, rather than your mind rushing to end this process. This practice creates a connection with your body - it's intuition and wisdom.

When you reach the end of the practice, express deep gratitude for this moment, and for everything that is in the now. Take a few breaths until your body feels ready to end the practice.

Happy Experiencing! :)

Relinquishing the Need to Play Roles

Today, I received an insight. 'What if I no longer played any roles?'. As I realized this, I felt the weight of my emotional responsibilities diffusing into thin air. We all are so accustomed to projecting people playing different roles, concerning us. We forget that they are individuals in their own right.

For one, I would meet myself where I am, as I am, not needing to pretend anymore. Respecting, regarding and honouring my needs. Even more so, I would meet people without imposing a projective role on them which is clearly unfair to them.

I noticed that I have always played roles concerning others, of their unconscious expectations of me. That of a daughter, of an older sister, of a professional, or even a nice person. I was so engrossed in keeping up with others' image of me, that I forgot to be myself.

We get so comfortable by setting people in a role. Because it gets easier to navigate them by predicting them. Rather than just being present with them, and getting to know them. 

I wish I learned to embrace my individuality, rather than diminishing it for the comfort of other people. This brought me to many places where my presence was of little value or regard.

But ever since I have become aware of the value I bring to any table - of people, places or circumstances, I have been naturally responding with assertive boundaries. When you get to a new place, navigating this might seem chaotic. But as long as you are practising meeting your standards again, and again - you teach other people to treat you in the same way.

How would you respond to a circumstance if you already have the inner freedom to be yourself? How would you respond when you know that you are brave enough to deal with the consequences of your responses?

Our sense of individualities is unique to each of us. Once we understand the goodness of honouring and expressing our true selves, going back to the old ways will never be an option, unless it is a conscious choice.   

Breathing in Life

Today, as I was practising a spring equinox-inspired yoga flow, I received an insight. This wisdom taught me to breathe from different parts of the body. As I practised this, I realized, that I am breathing more deeply, with so much clarity. New breathing portals seemed to be blooming open as I practised this.

This meant that breathing from different areas opened my body in ways I didn't think possible. In fact, as I practised this, it's all I wanted to do today. Just keep breathing, and filling my lungs and body with life. More and more, again and again.

I am so grateful to have had this experience. It is an addition to the already existing body expression practices in my kitty. So, so humbled and gratified!

The practise:

You can be seated cross-legged on your mat, floor or grass. Hold one hand to your heart and the other on your belly. Close your eyes. Now take a few deep, comfortable breaths. Gradually, the breathing matches the energy of the current state of the body.

Slowly, move this awareness to different parts of your body. For instance, let's say you're feeling stagnant in your neck area. Imagine a new pair of nostrils in your neck area, and take a few deep breaths from here. When you do, you realize that your breaths are far more deeper than you could have imagined.

Similarly, after a while when the breathing gets to a plausible level, change the location of this nostril. These nostrils can be imagined on the surface of your body, or even inside the body - with your internal organs.

Don't go for too many parts at once. Select 2-3 at a time. Once you are regular with the practice, you can increase the number of locations, willfully and easily.

I would further suggest choosing these locations on how hidden or non-comprehensible they are as well. For instance, your rib cage, your shoulders, your elbows, your forearms, your gluteal area, the back of your thighs, your back in general, different areas of your head, your ears, your belly and your feet.

We are so used to keeping breathing unidirectionally - from the nose to the lungs or other parts of the body, that we do not pay attention to other possible directions.

Meeting the Reality of My Experience

Our internal energies are constantly moving, changing, and transforming. The shifts in these energies do not make sense. However, because of this, it creates an impact on our mood too.

At one point we may feel happy and content, the next we might feel snowballing into the lowest trench of our being. These fleeting moods generally have nothing to do with our external world. We can even say that these fleeting emotions are not even in our control most times.

Usually, when these moods get overwhelming, I remind myself that these are just energies in motion, that I am not even in control of. What has helped me most is being aware of when these energies can throw me into a low spiral. 

The idea is to be present. To describe what these shifting energies feel like for you. For instance, it can seem overwhelming - like I need to have an answer for something right now, or that I am not doing enough. The idea is to not begin arguing with what shows up. Rather, to accept that it is.

This acceptance can sometimes be deemed difficult because it is something that we might not believe in. However, at this point, the most compassionate action we can pursue at this very minute is to admit I feel like this. This acceptance is not up for validation or for convincing someone about our goodness. No.

It's about accepting previously resistant energy - it's about allowing an energy that was stagnant all this while for its sweet release.

It's one of the kindest ways that we can meet our inner realities. For most times, none of the things that show up will make sense to you. We just have to accept this energy that doesn't make sense, to be here for a minute. To belong.

Our emotions don't have to make sense or even be real to be allowed. But when we create the space to allow this chaos, we make space for a part of ourselves to belong here, to be held, to be seen - in its own right.  

True Nature

It is the space from which everything arises. Everything that begins also comes to an end. It is the natural cycle of any existence. Its wisdom can experienced through intuition.

All of us are unique spirits inhabiting human bodies of different shapes, sizes and hearts; and placed in very different contexts. Since our spirits and our souls are inexplicable and boundless, why do we find the need to define or limit their capacities to our mind's ideas? How much can you explain, decide or determine anything that is simply nature, and just different from one another?

Our bodies are wired to navigate the present. It is our soul that makes our living experiences unique. Whenever we try to work toward certain goals or aspirations, most likely it's a mind's game - a forward toward an illusion.

I have been playing with this idea of, what if we surrendered to our spirit? Since our spirits are different and unique, does it not mean that they know the way too? On some days, when I do not know what is next, I ground into my presence - a place that I have come to believe knows everything. It is a meeting point - of not knowing, and touching the energy of all that is right now. In those times, intuition leads best. We need to believe that we will be led to where we need to go.

I say this from my own experience. Previously, I used to be aspirational. I used to have so many goals that I kept meeting every step of the way. However, something always felt short. I never felt the fulfilment as I anticipated I would. Maybe for a brief period, for a few days, and it was gone. In fact, whenever I experienced this, I also didn't want to continue beyond goal. Because in the process of achieving my goal, I had already gone above and beyond.

When I curated a daily ritual for me, I progressed in creativity, mind and spirit. My mind-made aspirations seemed to vanish. And I wanted to live a life in alignment with my true nature. I started liking and pursuing activities, that I never thought I would. I opened myself to ideas and beliefs, that I would have shut myself off of. I allowed myself to believe in other people's unique experiences that I would know nothing of, without having an opinion on it. And most importantly, I trusted in myself - to know that at any point, my decisions would light me up.

My point is, what if there's so much more to our life than just the idea of what we have made it to be? This truth might be uncomfortable to face or relate to at first. But at some point, it can also be liberating. Each day, I seem to be unlearning a new pattern - burying me in a new layer of grief, another layer to rise from. But somehow along the way, whenever I have experienced deep sadness, or that nothing would ever be the same again - something in my life invariably reminds me of why I am on this path. Despite the unknowns, there is a layer of deep anchored trust in me and my spirit, and most importantly, my God - who is guiding me through it all. 

Structure and Flow

Everything in existence is bound by structure and flow. These energies go hand in hand. These energies are usually characterized as masculine and feminine energies.

Structure is a solid stable ground through which flow occurs. Each energy has its own characteristics. The structure holds and embraces, whereas the flow surrenders. Every aspect of our lives is a delicate dance between these two forces.

This post was inspired by my curiousity to explore the idea of these forces and how they show up day to day.

The world is a structure, and culture is flow. Our day-to-day rituals are a structure, whereas how we show up in each moment, is flow. The tree trunk and the branches are structured. The flowers, leaves and moss are the flow.  Our bodies are the structure, our personalities, creativity and intellect are part of the flow. Relationships are the structure, how we engage in it, is the flow. A new day is a structure, how we show up in it - is the flow.

As we can see, structure can be based on known, certain or pre-decided elements. It is a continued pattern. So any change needed in our lives depends on shifting in the day-to-day structure - our habits, behaviours, responses, identification with the circumstances and a devotion to show up every day. Structure holds. It is the base, the foundation, the skeleton. It is focused, laser-targeted and reveals clarity. 

Flow, however, is showing up in the uncertain. It changes day to day and time and time. It is an intangible element, that can't be measured - only experienced. It is a natural essence, the wilderness, the movements. Nature is unpredictable and its energies fluctuate. This is reflected in how we show up differently each day. It is fluid, playful, reflective and adaptive. 

Irrespective of our preferred genders, we all have our individual equilibrium of structure and flow. This is ever-evolving. As nature is transient.

There is still so much that I am looking forward to learning about the masculine and feminine energies. And intend to share this soon.

Somatic Energy and Life Experiences

Our lives are experienced through our bodies. All of our stories - including our past, habits, behaviours, and how we connect with others - are contained in the cells of our bodies.

This is why when we intend to change our circumstances and our stories - we can do so through our bodies. A lot of times, our stories - of limitations, fears, perceptions - are just another internal sensation. Not the reality itself.

Many times what we need to do is to just meet ourselves in our internal world. All of our bodies contain complete and intricate connections that we believe to be a concrete story. However, when we come back to our presence, we realize that these stories do not exist. Right here and now is all there is and all that exists.

Unlike the idea that the external world is linear, it isn't. It is chaos and indescribable. How simultaneity is a true occurrence. Everything that is meant to outlast, goes through a slow, evolving growth process. Change doesn't happen overnight. But if you commit to showing up every day, and do what needs to be done, you have already won most of the battle.

Our life is experienced through our bodies. When we fulfil our internal measures, it is more satiating than our external measures. This is why at every point, when we check in with our internal selves, we will almost always know what needs to be done.

Our bodies carry our personal wisdom. It is our soul's vessel and our guide. All of our soul's paths differ from one another, and each of our journeys is incomparable. This is why we hold space for another. To go beyond the external structures; to meet the truth and the divinity of the other. 

A practise: 

The next time you are confronted with a new circumstance, notice the sensations activated in your body. Depending on the circumstances, different parts of your body can be activated. It can seem intense in some areas, and less intense in others. Be present with these different sensations. Reserve any kind of judgment, criticism or a need to label it. Allow the sensations and spend time with them. Eventually, the feeling passes, and you begin to feel comfortable in the new circumstance, or space. This is an intentional practice. Remind yourself to practise this amid discomfort. Change happens during distress. This is a practice to break the cycle of repeated patterns. 

Making & Holding Space for Relationships & Co-existence

Here's something that really struck me today. People are always going to view you through their state of mind. Each mindset has filters. Others are always going to view you through their filters. So why would you ever want to waste your time and energy proving things to others, when you will never even fathom what filters they are perceiving you through?

Everyone has these intricate, nuanced internal thermostats which reflect their comfort levels regarding different aspects of life. These aspects and measures for one, are unfortunately never tangible. But it is reflected through their behaviours, responses, their tones and conversations, the kind of topics they speak about, and the kind of jokes they laugh at.

Their perception of you is not your reality

 

Everyone is so different from one another. So why do we expect everyone to show up in the same way? We shouldn't criticise ourselves when we are unable to show up for others in the way that they expect us to. You can only show up for others in your capacity. When you are unable to show up for others in the way they expect you to, it creates an environment for internal conflict. This mostly creates resentment.

Our minds create an illusion of prediction, and this creates unconscious expectations when we interact with others. Expectations do not reflect reality - our idea of how others show up for us. Reality is reflected in the truth of how others show up for us - their keenness, efforts, reciprocity, and most importantly how present they are with themselves from moment to moment.

We must learn to create space for the realities of one another. 

Letting Go of the Mind Stories

 When I let go or loosen the grip of the stories in my mind, new energy rushes into the place where all of the restricted, stagnated energy once existed.

If you are someone who is attuned to their body, you can notice that the new energy is circulating and replenishing in the space where you have just let go of an outdated belief, old energy.

I have come to believe that after a point, our beliefs can hinder us, dull us and suffocate us. Sometimes we carry forward with our beliefs because we are used to it. This is what shrinks us.

As humans, one of our natural traits is thay we are wired for evolution. So at every given moment, we are constantly changing. This is why it is so important to practise reflections - of the day, week or month. It gives us a glimpse of how we have transformed, and what habits, behaviours and responses are holding us back. This is a practise in accountability for oneself.

Now that this story no longer exists in us, we are free, open and receptive for spiritual guidance. We can now look forward to new experiences and shifts in perspectives. Anything and everything around us feels like an inspiration.

This process opens up new ways of being. Even beyond your limited vision of who you should be. Because eventually your minds vision of who you should be is construed in the linear sense.

But when you are open and committed to inhabiting and express your heart and soul, you surrender yourself to an unknown path. Where your next step is guided to you by your intuition.

Let me just tell you this. You are going to feel alone in this. Because mostly, people around you might not relate to your journey. It's not personal. It's just that we have been so acquainted with a linear journey of success. So even if your loved ones try to help you out, they will do so from their understanding of it. I hope you give yourself and them, the place to be compassionate with you, in this time.

This process brings about a lot of grief. Because you are letting go of so many illusions that you thought were your reality. Please make space to experience this grief. You need this. Be kind to yourself. Since your path is your path alone, you have got to stay strong for yourself. The fact that you are doing this for yourself, means you have chosen the path of courage. Others can support you only to the depths that they have met themselves too. Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others. They are trying their best too.

Personally, this has been my hardest journey in life. But then, I am so attuned to my body and intuition, that the clarity and idea for the next step just arrives in my mind. This journey has taught me to cultivate all of my trust in myself, with no space to back down. This is the true meaning of liberation. 

Experiencing Divine Perfection

I am feeling a sense of divine perfection within; delightful epiphanies. Like whatever it is right now, and whatever I am right now, it's just meant to be. The raw, the chaos, the incomprehensible, it just is. I wasn't meant to understand it. I was just meant to experience all this.

As I am going deeper within me, I am noticing the barriers that my mind has gripped onto all these years. Lately, I have been practising loosening this grip at any moment that I feel it shows up. And because of this, I feel like little by little, the shackles in me are breaking free. I can breathe better, my body feels open and I feel lighter. Overall, blissful. 

We are meant to grow through every step in life. And I need to accept that although my journey looks seemingly different from others, it still matters.

Today I also learned a thing. I used to always wonder, what they meant when they said, "You have created everything in your life". It just didn't make sense. But then, I read a suggestion to ask myself "Why did I create this?". And then the answers came to me so easily.

Which made me realize that my unconscious mind is so powerful. It has these depths and dimensions that my conscious mind might never fathom. I must keep leaning into the growth that I believe in wholeheartedly, and trust the progress.  

Creating Safety and Holding Space

Why do feel so threatened when others' opinions don't fit into our narrative? Why are we so hell bent on justifying our views as absolute and righteous?

Lately I have been in the great unknown. Now although I have been getting used to this experience, it's been difficult. Because right now from the outside it looks like it's me against the world. Internally, everything I do makes so much sense to me. Right to the fact that despite this unknown, I no longer feel afraid of my life's unfolding. Each day, each moment I have been unlearning and reframing my views, that I have gotten to the space of being comfortable with this unknown. Just focussing on the next step.

However, this experience feels so intimate and inexplicable that I have noticed that people don't believe me when I attempt to explain it to them. I trust the unfolding, and mostly inportantly myself. If at all, this has been a good practise of not buying into others people's realities, grounding into myself and to decide what the best next course of action would be.

Coming back to the questions I phrased in the beginning - when our beliefs are challenged, it challenges our identity, which is our understanding of existence. When you become self-aware, you realize that your identity is a moulding of the biological responses that you have experienced within, as a response to your life conditions. So when a perspective that isn't biologically true and natural to us, we feel threatened by it.

We live in a microcosm of the universal experience. So our world - our beliefs, responses, and conditions feel normal to us. The relationship with ourselves and our attachment styles is a measure of how we respond when we feel threatened.

As humans, there is always a tendency to lean toward insecure attachment responses. But when we connect back to ourselves and learn to be with all the new things that come, we learn to navigate to the unknowns. Especially when it is a new territory not just for us, but for everyone around us too.

We need to remember that it is normal to not understand other people's feelings. However, it is important to grasp the circumstances and the possible state of the other person before we respond to them in any way. This is how we learn to create and hold space for other people's experiences. Even though it doesn't make sense to us. Grace and compassion don't require us to make sense of the situation. Rather allows a safe presence for an incomprehensible experience to exist.