Why do feel so threatened when others' opinions don't fit into our narrative? Why are we so hell bent on justifying our views as absolute and righteous?
Lately I have been in the great unknown. Now although I have been getting used to this experience, it's been difficult. Because right now from the outside it looks like it's me against the world. Internally, everything I do makes so much sense to me. Right to the fact that despite this unknown, I no longer feel afraid of my life's unfolding. Each day, each moment I have been unlearning and reframing my views, that I have gotten to the space of being comfortable with this unknown. Just focussing on the next step.
However, this experience feels so intimate and inexplicable that I have noticed that people don't believe me when I attempt to explain it to them. I trust the unfolding, and mostly inportantly myself. If at all, this has been a good practise of not buying into others people's realities, grounding into myself and to decide what the best next course of action would be.
Coming back to the questions I phrased in the beginning - when our beliefs are challenged, it challenges our identity, which is our understanding of existence. When you become self-aware, you realize that your identity is a moulding of the biological responses that you have experienced within, as a response to your life conditions. So when a perspective that isn't biologically true and natural to us, we feel threatened by it.
We live in a microcosm of the universal experience. So our world - our beliefs, responses, and conditions feel normal to us. The relationship with ourselves and our attachment styles is a measure of how we respond when we feel threatened.
As humans, there is always a tendency to lean toward insecure attachment responses. But when we connect back to ourselves and learn to be with all the new things that come, we learn to navigate to the unknowns. Especially when it is a new territory not just for us, but for everyone around us too.
We need to remember that it is normal to not understand other people's feelings. However, it is important to grasp the circumstances and the possible state of the other person before we respond to them in any way. This is how we learn to create and hold space for other people's experiences. Even though it doesn't make sense to us. Grace and compassion don't require us to make sense of the situation. Rather allows a safe presence for an incomprehensible experience to exist.
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