The Rattling Screen

 This morning, I received wisdom - To be aware of the source of all that what rattles my mind.

In our interactive minds, we have a screen. This screen reflects our state of mind. It has an interpretative function. Whenever a circumstance occurs, our perspective touches the screen and reflects our response.

I noticed this because sometimes some facets of life would rattle me. And today I sensed the space from which this rattle is experienced. The rattle would be reflected in different responses, such as annoyance, dismissing any forms of communication, or snapping back at the other person.

This would mostly occur because I don't agree with something they say, or while I am defending my point against theirs. The truth is others will always have something to say, but it is really the best way to keep defending my point against theirs? Is the response really important?

In my inner work journey many times I realized that responding to any point of view takes so much energy. Our job is to be aware of those areas in life that really need a response and those that don't.

Sometimes a past story shows up insidiously to rattle this screen. Our point of witness should be internal tremor. It's never the circumstance itself that would trigger anyone. Rather, it's the story behind it that does.

Initially, I wondered if it would be the best option to dissolve the interpretative screen itself. The impacts would lessen. This felt more like a survival mechanism than facing something. Then the answer revealed itself.

When we practise being aware of the source story behind the impulse or trigger, we gradually dissolve the rattle screen itself. The source of the rattling discomfort is always a past story that shows up as a behaviour. These are all that they are - fabrications. Which will never be your truth.

I noticed that my survival response while growing up taught me to react to things immediately. Even if I tried my best, I was told that it was wrong and I had to keep defending myself. So, one of the pivotal lessons for me was to always take a minute or a step back to make a decision. I don't always have to stretch myself or force myself to have a say on something right away.  

Just noticing the tremors behind the tale is soothing me into peace. A respite that I didn't know I needed in a long while.