Love as a State of Being

I have been experiencing epiphanies for the past few months. I would confidently say that it's the fruit of all the inner work that I have been doing. The biggest shift for me in this process was not limited to awareness of my behavioural patterns. It was when I recognized these patterns in the middle of my sticky feelings, and consciously shifted my behaviour toward my preferred patterns - did my true self begin to emerge. The point of this post was to experience love as a state of being.

Growing up, I have always known it as a possession, a person or a superficial acquirement of the things you love. A noun. In my inner work process, I began seeing it as an experience, a verb - which I have written about in a previous blog post.

Lately, it has evolved as a state of being. I would like to express that for me, it feels like a space of focussing on deep trust. Usually, when something happened that wasn't my convenience, my thoughts would spiral out of control. Right now, something happened, that would have usually led me to the spiral. Strangely though, as I quietly re-affirmed to myself "lead with trust", it just didn't. Instead, I instantly felt stillness, like I do in my meditation practices. This is a new experience for me.

As I am going through the feelings where I could feel the need to spiral out of control, I am learning to shift my focus toward the energy that matters more.

To trust is to surrender.

As far as this state of being goes, right now, I feel like I would revel in connecting with anyone around me. I feel connected to the source. I can directly, firmly and assertively convey my point of view - politely. Re-affirming my sense of individuality. Everything just feels right, despite the chaos. 

I had just yesterday reminded myself - that for now, I would be leading through 3 core values. Trust, appreciation and connection. I am unsure as to why it has narrowed down to them. It felt intuitive and obvious. I wish I had known then - what I know now. However, I am so glad that I received the opportunity to re-parent myself. The relationship one has with themselves is the only one that is eternal. And to know that I could do this to become the person that I have always known that I could be - is a dream turned into reality!