It's been a few days that I have been experiencing anxiety. It is probably because I am navigating through so many unknowns at once. Also, my mind has been obsessive about the next step or the outcome, because it doesn't know where the process is being led to. These bouts have been a little severe from the time I began practising nervous system regulation. It used to come so easy to me, and even easier as I would write about it. But as I am experiencing the intensity of it, remembering the practice takes a back seat.
However, my conscious thoughts did spring into action. They have been helping me a lot. Reminding me which tool can be of most service in each moment of regulation.
At this point, I asked my anxiety what it would like me to know. It wanted to have an answer, and know about outcomes then and there. Which is clearly an aspect outside my realm of control. This is when I realized that I was treading through resistance.
The conscious thoughts gradually helped me to lead back into my body. Then mindful body movements, flow and breath practice helped me keep up with the grounding. This morning, however, I reached the root of the practice, being present with all the emotions that I am feeling at once.
Learning to be present amid the chaos, is a skill. It is our internal experiences that can rattle us most. Amid the difficulties, it is these practices that can enable us to centre into our core, into our natural essence and energy.
The idea of this post was that it's so easy to read and intellectualize our regulation tools. Remembering to practise and which tool one needs at the moment to practise is even more essential. We need to remember to practise right in the middle of distress.
A practice: Next time in the middle of distress, begin noticing the physicality of the anxious energy in your internal body. It's location, the space it takes up, and its energetics. Sometimes, its colours and textures can also show up. Some can seem intense or mellow. Bring it to the forefront of your internal senses.
Hold your hands on to the physical area of the body where the sensation is located, and begin breathing - an expression through your breath. The breath can come off as shallow and intense in the beginning. Give it the time it needs. Do not rush this. This energy needs your presence. Take your time with this. Continue breathing until your breath is eventually calm, long and deep. Be with the calm breathing for a few more minutes until you feel that you are ready to get back into your routine.
Hope this helps.
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