Getting to Know the Parts that Make Us

Two parts create our core personality.

One is the child-like part of us - our inner child. These are the raw and emotional parts of us. This verse contains everything we believed as children and somehow we are still guided by the visions from this part. In colloquial habits, people refer to this as the heart or essence of the person.

This part also contains the emotional and behavioural patterns we resorted to as children. Some of these patterns include taking others' behaviours personally, thinking that there is only one avenue to our goals, behaving as if the world revolves around us and believing that this moment and circumstance is permanent.

These behaviours do not show up as dramatically as described above. They show up subtly in our day-to-day lives. for instance, when we internally compare ourselves with others or when we ruminate over circumstances we don't like.

The other is the rational, adult part of us. In my experience, this part can precisely navigate nuance. Given that each of us lives in a subjective world, we learn to listen and open up to new perceptions and possibilities through compassion, empathy and the need for human connection.

Over time, this part learns to seek guidance, over resorting to familiar patterns. It learns to discern and assert subjective needs from objectivity.

Overall, we have so many behavioural and response patterns existing in us that range from when we were children, to our present selves. Wisdom emerges from practising the pause. This pause teaches us to discern ourselves from the story and provides an objective perspective. To ask ourselves - "Where does this interpretation stem from?"

Reflection teaches us to respond appropriately to the circumstances at hand. This time when we make a decision based on this thought process, we also learn to face the impacts that come with it.

This is why I truly believe that there is no end to the learning process. We are constantly unlearning the patterns that don't serve us, and re-learning those that require us to respond differently so we can progress as individuals.

Each time you practise a new behaviour that connects with others, you are choosing to be a better person.