Our body is made of millions (maybe even gazillions) of neurological patterns that have shaped our behaviours, personalities, beliefs and responses. Many of these patterns are not even us. It is probably a survival mechanism or someone else's pattern. The patterns that feel good within and are expressed openly become a form of self-expression.
However, when we repress our emotions because some behavioural patterns are not considered 'good' or accepted, these get heavy and start tightening within us. These might be the points of trigger, our 'sticky' feelings. The things that defend, hide, or prefer not to share or talk about.
These patterns harden the energy in our body, and in turn, affect our physical health. Looking after our emotional health is as important as taking care of our physical and mental health.
When pursuing the softening practice, we allow the energy in our body to dissipate gradually and circulate again. It is all biochemistry, energy and physicality.
Note: I would suggest that you consider just one topic per practice. Until a few attempts, and further on you will know how to manage more.
I would recommend this practice be pursued with a trusted partner or with a psychology professional. If you are still unable to regulate your emotions on your own, you will need a trusted partner to help you through it.
The practice: Sit in a meditative pose with crossed legs. Chest and crown upright, chin parallel to the floor, neck & spine - long & neutral, and shoulders open. Place both your hands on your knees, palms facing upwards. Close your eyes. Take some soft, intentional comfortable breaths, so your body is relaxed.
Once you feel relaxed within your body, bring the topic into the forefront of your mind. It can be anything. Probably a certain quality about yourself or another person. It can be about a way a certain circumstance or a relationship with someone feels within you. Your relationship with money, your ideas about aspirations. Anything.
Keep the image of the topic in your mind. Now allow all the descriptions related to it, to come up. Notice it neutrally. Many of these descriptions can be controversial, blameful, spiteful, wrong, or rude. Whatever it is, allow it to come forth. Notice it. Be with it.
If possible, you can even describe the physicality of the topic. It can feel heavy, spiky or cloudy; the textures. Or the colours. Allow your human self to just notice everything that comes when this topic comes to mind. Give yourself the space and time to experience this topic unbound.
This experience might be like turbulence or a portal to unpacking your past stories. I have taught myself to stay grounded and to breathe through it when it gets heavy.
Once the bubbling feeling subsides, it is a sign that the tightness or heaviness might have reduced a little. Difficult feelings and emotions will never go away all at once. Sometimes they may not go away for a long time.
The point of this practice is to cultivate your capacity to be with the emotion and its awareness, instead of making it go away. Next time it shows, it will be easier to be with.
A lot of these stories are unconscious definitions, you might not even believe that you hold such and such perspective. It is revealing, and humbling. Most of all this practice teaches us to forgive ourselves in the light of darkness. It teaches us that we are in fact, only humans.
Personally, I use this practice for everything that shows up in the day. Sometimes I allow the emotion to spend time with me. It feels loved, and happy to be. Allow it. Your emotions just want your presence. The only way out is through.
This practice reminds me that I am the creator of my world. So if I want to change anything I don't like, I explore the source within. This allows me to get to the origins of my stories. Our perceptions are malleable. Allow yourself to open up in the face of change.
Please share your experiences with this practice, I am curious!
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