Experiencing a Sense of Security in Oneself

 A secure attachment stems from one's relationship with themselves. The ones who view the world as dark, difficult, or hostile feel this way because that is how they experience the difficult emotions in themselves. Each person's attachment or relationship with themselves stems from the early communication and safety experienced through engagement with their primary caretakers.

The beginning of being secure in oneself - is accepting their complete truth irrespective of it being labelled as good, bad or chaotic. Any particular circumstance can be interpreted in infinite ways. Each person's internal experience will always differ from one another. Knowing this, and honouring the compassion in our differences is a crucial step.

I realized that I used to function on a defensive nervous system. I perceived other people's actions as a threat to my sense of self. However - being self-aware of this and after months of inner work, I can now say that I am shifting towards a healthy, and secure nervous system.

This means now I can perceive other people's actions have a sense of individuality - meaning they do something for themselves and this has nothing to do with me. It feels so good and relieving to be detached from this way of social functioning. The way our nervous system responds to our environment or human relationships mirrors the way we perceive ourselves. The stories we perceive explain how we tend to play a part in our own suffering. Other attachment styles arise from different forms of insecurities resulting in co-dependency. A secure attachment style arises from a secure sense of self resulting in healthy inter-dependency in human relationships.