The first word that comes to my mind is 'to tenderize'. However, this is in the context of my being. I want to break down my limits. I want to be able to gently wear down the rigidity of my conditioned beliefs, nervous system responses, and assumptions and perceptions of myself through other's lens
I never had anyone regulate my emotions. My mother was so focused on her own pain that I experienced dismissal of every emotion that I was going through. It was only through other relationships that I learned what it means to be with someone's pain. And I am so thankful to learn this.
Lately, I have been so focused on sitting with my pain without judging it. My inner child feels safe to be nowadays. Now I am learning to sit with my inner teenager. I never got the chance to grow through this phase. If anything, I am so grateful that I get to re-parent myself - from a place of responsibility, accountability, and a sense of individuality. I feel so proud of my conscious self who is learning and unlearning generational, familial and collective pain and limitations.
I would like to continue this sense of small shifts - because I am feeling the momentum now. The sense of inner freedom that I receive in moments of choices and soul-led guidance. I want to express myself naturally and become whatever growth comes from it. I am not the source of my familial pain. However, I am the source of my inner strength. Everything I do is a reflection of me, not of others. Because I am an individual, not the collective. I can only contribute toward the collective. This is my role.
I am so excited to become whatever comes from my natural expression, and process. My raw primal self is a gift that is revealed to me, in everyday practises. When I listen to my intuition. And discern - what surely is mine, and what isn't.
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