A Sense of Impulse

After practising the idea of noticing the stillness, space and trust before responding to any mind story regarding people, myself or circumstances, a new pattern was revealed to me today.

Impulsivity.

I got curious about this pattern. And I am glad that this is coming forward in its own time and space. And it had some things to tell me.

My impulsivity arises from a place to react immediately. It wants to jump to conclusions and is competitive. It wants to dictate to others that my point of view takes higher priority over theirs. A sense of 'I am right'. After describing these qualities, I am assuming that this is my primal nature. A biological lens. When we become conditioned to our natural contexts and our past experiences, our points of view solidify.

Impulsivity arises from habit. If we do not respond as per our accustomed ways, our body considers this change, a threat. So this change is dismissed, and the body is alerted. Our survival instincts are activated. So any change in our activities is met with resistance - of the existing day-to-day patterns and the desire to intentionally evolve our ways. This impulse is more about going back to our known patterns, than about the change itself.

Impulsivity is a resistance to change. It is a tendency to repeat old patterns. It is a knee-jerk reaction over a thoughtful - pause and respond.

One way I am learning to cope with these impulses is by teaching myself the idea of delayed gratification. For eg: I remind myself of the big picture. How this discipline or perseverance would contribute towards improved social connections or better habits for myself. Impulsive actions can be a source of distraction when the underlying needs of the patterns are not met. The best way is to sit with the discomfort until it passes. 

I also perceive that it's not about the impulse itself, but rather responding appropriately in the heat of the moment. An impulsive response is an integral component of our survival instinct. It's about the pause - when to act and when not to. Sometimes external circumstances might over-power our rational judgements. We need to be aware of what requires quick action, and what requires the pause before response. Especially, during those times when there is a threat to our safety. 

Just as with any of our emotions, it would be resourceful to explore our sense of impulsivity. Many times it shows up as a way of protecting us from being vulnerable. It is crucial to notice how it impacts us, and the people around us. Especially in the areas of social interactions and self-development. 

Practise new patterns. Like any skill, give it time, space, and continued practice for it to become an integral part of your behaviour.