My Happiest Memory

I was filling in an application where I had to write about my happiest memory. I thought I'd share it here too. 

I believe that our minds are like museums. We can go back to any memory and experience it as vividly as our mind allows us.

My happiest memories are a culmination of all the fun loving, caring, and silly moments I spent in the presence of my loved ones. While I didn’t know then, I am glad I now have these memories, so I can revisit them as I please.

During my mid to late teenage years, I felt isolated. I was bullied at school and was struggling with body image issues. I would not open up to my family or friends, because I didn’t understand my struggles. I didn’t have the words to convey it.

Eventually, I turned to music. I had an iPod Nano, and I would fill it up with all of my favourite music. I remember listening to Lady Gaga, Vanessa Hudgens, and Rascal Flatts. I would sing out loud, dance around, and cry louder. Their music helped me confront my emotions, although I didn’t know at the time. All I knew was that I felt comforted in my being.

Around that time, I also remember that I would avidly binge-watch series such as Community and Breaking Bad. It gave me time to divert my attention from my struggles towards content I wholeheartedly enjoyed.

I spent so much time with myself, and I got to know myself. Suddenly, I could express myself better. I initiated and followed through with plans with my friends, and spent more time with them too. As do teenagers. I made new friends who I connected with easily. And just in general, I became a happier kid.

Now when I reflect on that period of my life, I am filled with gladness, deep gratitude, and immense pride because I took care of my emotions without projecting them onto anyone else. I took responsibility for my actions and behaviours.

There are so many behaviours that have continued. For instance, I turn to music, or for that matter myself for solace. It’s more that I have demonstrated to myself that I can depend on me. External connections are a bonus, blessings in disguise.

At that tender age, there’s so much we don’t understand. But I am happy I became the source of my haven.

I call it my happiest memory because I am reminded that despite the emotional confusion my young mind was subjected to, I had my back. And it feels good to remember that.