On Closure

Many of us may have come to believe that closure provides a point for our suffering; that the reason for our struggles in any specific circumstance is worth it. A sense of finality. As if knowing that reason will erase our mental turmoil regarding those circumstances, in an instant. 

We also might believe that this closure can only come from a source outside of us - from a trusted friend, a family member we depend on, or even someone we look up to.

In my experience, I have learned that many aspects impact the ways we receive our closure. The first one is that sometimes, you've got to live with no closure from an outside source, especially from the source we seek. This is probably the most heartbreaking one. As humans, our mind is always looking for a reason behind those circumstances that it can't comprehend. Maybe it's a survival instinct. But, we're built with it.

Sometimes, we'll never know why something had to happen. For me, others' personal stories, or certain plotlines in books, have helped me move past this uncertainty. Another thing that has helped me immensely, is to immerse myself in prayers. When I don't know why something has happened, or just trying to find a meaning for something that doesn't have any, I pray. This prayer brings about a feeling like someone who's bigger and beyond all of this, is listening to me. And that for me, in itself, provides me the closure I need.

Another one is that sometimes we won't receive closure unless we're ready to face the truth behind it. I realized that our experiences are subjective, and unless we release the unconscious stories behind our automatic patterns, we will not even get to know them. It requires us to face the parts of us that we've learned to shun. It requires us to unlearn everything we've learned through our life. This again can be such a difficult process. However, once we've connected with these parts through inner work, it is ready to be revealed to us.

The last one is that sometimes we receive closure when we connect to our intuition. Once we have worked on our inner selves and established contact with them, we receive insights daily. Our journalling and reflection practices can also support us while we strengthen this connection. This specific one requires us to work through the barriers that keep us from our truth. It is a conscious practice and is process-oriented. 

Being a human is so difficult. Honestly. Closure is never promised. However, having a community, being vulnerable and sharing our experiences is the first step to finally knowing that despite the unbearable loneliness, we aren't really alone.