The word - our (psyche's) shadows, sounds like a terrifying place to be. All these years I have been so focussed on brightening my light, that I suppressed my shadows. Perhaps the more this continued, the darker it got. Until - I had to confront it. Again and again. Until I comprehensively experienced everything that came from it.
I noticed that my shadows are the parts of me that I have deliberately repressed to fit into my environment. The parts of me that distinctly made me, me! It is all the times I dulled my light so that my demeanour is manageable for others.
When I was younger, this might have felt safe for me. But now, through the years - when I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin, I am being taught to confront all the parts of me that terrify me. All these parts that I guard against others.
This journey urges me to meet these parts that have become so distant, unknown and disconnected from me. It's teaching me that these suppressed shadows are parts of my authentic self that I simply need to witness, accept and embrace. It is teaching me to believe in myself.
The more I have been witnessing my darkness, the more comfortable I feel in the discomfort that comes with it. It is acquainting me to my true and most natural self. I am gradually feeling so comfortable in the parts that I previously dismissed. It's increasing my capacity to show myself immense compassion, and grace and to forgive myself unconditionally.
My shadows have been my protectors. They always only allowed what I was capable of expressing. But now that I am meeting it and holding hands with it - it is also trusting me to open up to me. My darkness seems to be shifting towards its dawn. And that's feels comforting to me. These parts have been my sense of inner strength, self-trust and acceptance of my true self.
Right now, I feel that I do not ever want to compare my life's experiences with others. We are not the same. Each experience is distinct. No matter how easily we can define others' lives' external appearances, their internal experiences are never so simple.
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