I realized that lately, I have been facing, embracing and experiencing many of my fears. I have been present with, and shown deep compassion to my (unconsciously) disowned parts. Instead of instructing it, or telling myself that I love myself no matter what - I have been embodying it. The very things that I find icky in me, I am showing myself that even those, especially those parts are lovable to me. I stand tall and proud of it. Even if it had been conditioned that it wasn't. Or that my first reaction is to deprecate it. It's just a matter of staying still within the mental storm. It really is.
The truth is - that you have the undeniable capacity to wither YOUR internal storms. You are the SOURCE of your own STRENGTH. You are the POWER within YOU!
These conscious shifts are beginning to show up in my everyday behaviour and responses. And at every moment the patterns are breaking open, I feel more and more free within myself. Maybe I am realizing that the fear was NEVER my conscious choice to begin with. Because even in the face of fear - I can choose COURAGE. Even when I am trembling, and even when I do not know what's next. Especially when it's the unknown.
I feel so proud of how far I have come and of the person I am becoming. I am ready to let other people take responsibility for themselves. They are them. You are you. And, I am me. It just is. All so distinct, unique, complex, intricate and incomparable.
One of the grounding experiences that I have learned through these months is that: when a trigger takes you away from yourself, consciously choose to be with the pain behind it. It's gonna show you everything that you are not. It will bring out your insecurities. Still. Be with it. Don't leave it alone. Sit with it. It needs your company, your assurance alone. It is through your unconditional presence it learns to be okay with where it's at, with who it is.
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