I'm feeling a fierce sense of self-love right now, y'know? I suddenly feel like any and every part of me that I might have overlooked suddenly feels like it's allowed to exist, to bloom, to be seen, to be held and to be expressed WIDE OPEN! I don't know what it is, but I should have NEVER taken 'NO' for an answer in my past experiences when it came to me.
A child's early development years are so tricky. There is only so much a child can perceive at this age. Child development is quite the responsibility of the primary caregivers. Their actions are insinuated personally by the children because the latter think that the whole world is about them. Until they grow older and see otherwise.
I wish I could have been there for the little me who didn't know what to make of the responses in her environment. I wish I could have been there to help her make sense. But now that I am here, I just want to give her the world. To show her that she is what truly matters and that she is - and will always be a good person.
It is so relieving to know all my actions, behaviours and responses have been a result of my upbringing and primary conditioning. It is also relieving to know now that I am aware of this - I can create a beautiful, loving life for myself - with me as the centre of my universe - who connects with others in her evolving capacity.
I also have started receiving an inner guidance lately - to move around without a destination in mind. This feels playful and explorative, fills me up with curiosity and guides my day intuitively. It feels good to be connected to the universe from moment to moment. In any case, it's my belief and doesn't need to make sense to another. But then again, what even does?
I am just so happy, that today I got to experience this fierce sense of self-love from within. I truly wish to be connected with this expansive energy from here on.
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