Co-Existence and Co-Creation

As much as we'd like to believe the supremely individualistic lifestyle propagated in most media, life just doesn't work that way.

On a large scale, there are so many complexities in motion - so many from the past, and so many propagating now. Changing social systems is a gradual change. It takes generations and self-accountability to create systemic shifts. The ways of humanity do not transform all at once. It is first activated at an epicentre (human intuition/ spark of idea) and propelled in motion as ripples - influence and inspiration from others.

To add to this, things are never always black and white. There are a range of infinite truths that exist at once. And humans are built to trust most in their subjective realities. We are wired to survive.

As humans, we are also built to depend on each other. No matter how much we believe that we are solely independent, we have to trust the goodness of others, if we want to get something done for us. A crucial spark of hope.

From my experience, I have come to believe that we cannot be us, without others. We would not know ourselves without others. We can only understand ourselves in relation to others.

For instance, there are many human qualities that we are responsible for, on our own. Like joy, happiness, keeping a good attitude, and interpreting what a circumstance means for us.

However, there are many human qualities that we understand about ourselves, only in the presence of others. For instance, empathy, kindness, envy, anger and jealousy. It also feels relieving, safe and grateful to have fellow companions to share our joy, sorrow and success.

We exist in relation to others.

Relationships can reveal the disconnection within us. It brings forth the emotions, usually our suppressed selves, that can guide us to create harmony within us. This is called inner work. This is why nowadays there are so many people around that are taking their power back, and taking accountability to shift their (conditioned) behaviours.

When the inner work reveals the disconnection within us, it also makes us aware of the disconnection outside of us. This is how we heal ourselves, and our relationships.

As the adage goes, no man is an island. We're all just bringing each other home. 

Relation between Emotional Development of an Individual and the Role of Primary Caregivers

Ever since I have been on the journey of getting to know myself emotionally, I have been exploring the relationship between the conditioned mind and our upbringing - the role of our primary caregivers. Here on, PCs.

The way we view our world is quite dependent on our PCs. Our lives and our world views begin at home. Our nervous system, our subconscious and our relating mind is moulded by all that is perceived at home.

As babies, when we do not have a sense of self, how others relate to us becomes the core way we begin to relate to ourselves. How others perceive us, becomes how we perceive ourselves. We mould our behaviours with how others perceive us because we believe that identity is our sense of self.

The PCs are integral to the children they bring into this world. Primordially, procreation was an act of survival. The initial humans needed more of our kind to survive a world, that was largely unknown, and unexplored.

Historically, procreation then became a subject of societal expectations and a status to uphold. In fact, in many regions around the world, the gender of the child also heightened or lowered one's social status.

Your child is NOT an extension of you

Another aspect was that children were brought into this world so the couple could be taken care of in their old age. This was considered a duty of the offspring before they were born.

In this day and age, I have been noticing people around me have been focusing on emotional development - working through their past conditioning to make way for their liberated selves. This requires a sense of self-awareness, noticing historical patterns, being attuned to oneself, and self-accountability.

A lot of emotional energy is being expended in this process, and many people are choosing not to procreate - a matter of personal choice. According to my observations, they understand the emotional, physical and financial responsibility that comes with having to bear a child and raise it to become a healthy individual.

As a fellow human, and as a PSA - I want to add that you are accountable and free to make your choices. However, ensure that you and your partner(s) are physically fit, emotionally healthy, and financially secure before you move ahead with the decision.

Any other driving force for this (emotional blackmail, biological clock ticking, fear of regret, peer pressure or any other expectation) could leave you and your child in a vulnerable place. The world you create for your child is the world that they're going to perceive at their core. Make sure its a safe place for them.