The Intimacy of Knowing Thy Self

All our lives, we've unintentionally learned to mould ourselves and fit into spaces where we don't belong. Intimacy is the art of getting to know oneself.

It is a state of curiosity and patience. It is the inner wanting and sheer willingness to notice how our experiences unfold and what they reveal about us.

We have unconsciously internalized the qualities of our immediate environment, and the people around us. Unless we consciously reflect on the happenings of our present world, our unbiased thoughts cannot be revealed to us.

To unveil our deepest aspects requires us to embrace our natural responses without bias. Often these responses are not readily acceptable or appreciated by others, which teaches us - often unconsciously, to distance ourselves from our true desires.

Knowing ourselves requires us to be ruthlessly honest about our natural responses to our experiences. It encourages us to become curious about the feedback that shows up. This feedback further demonstrates our self-concept.

Once we learn to embrace our true experiences, it's easier for us to share with others. True honesty that once felt unsafe, will now feel like our safest expression.

In my experience, a quiet knowing developed. One which was deemed true (mostly) only for me. I realized that fighting others' experiences can only deepen the disconnect with them.

Self-intimacy creates a safe space for our unbiased experiences. It encourages us to explore our subjective experiences to the fullest. This kind of open exploration and expression further allows us to accommodate and harmoniously interweave our experiences with those of others. 

Harmony and Belonging

As humans, we are naturally influenced by others. Our behaviours and ways of being differ when we're on our own, and when we're with others.

When we are on our own, our true sense of being emerges. Our habits and behaviours are no longer dependent on others. All of our senses of being differ from one another. So when we are put under the influence of one another, we pick up qualities that inspire us to do better. We create a new internal structure of habits, behaviours and thought processes.

All for us and others

When we are living in close quarters with one another, our nervous systems are attuned to one another. This is our body's natural response to our environment. We are wired to co-exist with each other.

However, as intellectual beings living in primal bodies, our thoughts and feelings can evolve to be constrictive. We believe that the beliefs, thoughts and conditioning we acquire from outside are our own. It is true that we exist and become in the presence of others.

However, our sense of individuality and personal preferences silently draw us into them. It is easy to be swayed by the ideals of others - those that are widely seen and accepted.

One way to live in harmony with others is to make space for all of our diverse existences. Co-existence is reflected when we make space for our own, as well as others' conflicting truths to reveal, exist and live among us.

When we label one other as per ideals that are widely considered and taught to us, we differentiate our complex existence. Our existence is intricate and hard to put into words. Our life is meant to experiences, not be labelled, and never understood.

In our pursuit to be understood, we forget to be understanding.

Generally, as there is an innate sense of light within all of us, there is also an innate sense of suffering. This suffering comes from a place of wanting to be understood as who we are and trying to make sense of why we are here.

Most times, this melancholy lies unexplained. So all we can do is make space for and accommodate each others' confusion. This gives a sense of belonging and is a gentle reminder that we are not alone in this. 

Energetic Alchemy

Or giving a physical form to our (usually abstract) emotions.

Our emotions are intangible aspects of our habits and behaviours. Our intentions and actions are usually driven by underlying emotions. Sometimes, these emotions can get abstract and incomprehensible. As humans, we tend to get afraid of emotions that we can't comprehend.

To put it in a simple context, emotions are 'Energy in motion'. As humans, we're made up of matter that consists of energy. As humans, it's also difficult for us to comprehend or make sense of our emotions. However, it is of great assistance when we are aware of what the surging emotions feel like, or what they're trying to express towards us.

One of the ways we can learn to comprehend our emotions is by giving them a physical form. Painting, doodling or simply expressing with colours are great resources that can encourage us to give our emotions a physical form.

In my experience, when I used paints to express my emotions on paper, I felt relieved. It felt as if my abstract emotions were now on paper, in a tangible form, and I didn't have to worry about them anymore. The relief provided a sense of lightness and free-flowing space in my body.

You can physically express your emotions through any art form or creative practice using your body as the channel. This can also include singing, dancing, a soulful cooking session, gardening or even journalling.

All of these expressions do not have to look like anything or follow a certain pattern. These expressions, allow us a glimpse or an immersive experience into what we are truly feeling in the moment. It give us the space to channel the raw energy. With no scrutiny, judgment or criticism. Simply witnessing your natural, wild self. 

The Importance Of Human Relationships

The relationships in our lives create a critical, emotional backing for us. Their presence anchors us, and their perspectives can help us make sense of our circumstances. Even if it means just listening to what we truly feel.

As we move through the different phases of our lives we meet people who influence our sense of being. Over time, we realize that we become an amalgamation of the personalities that we are surrounded with.

While our core attachment patterns develop with our primary caregivers, we further develop socially, emotionally and intellectually by interacting with our peers. Our peers are the people usually around our age. These peers usually take the form of our siblings, our schoolmates, our neighbours, our cousins (relatives), and our family friends.

In our early years, we organically begin engaging with our peers. However, through the years as we gain experience, we learn to differentiate and choose people who we connect with naturally. Maybe this is because it's just so much easier to connect and relate with them more than others.

This is the basis of all human relationships. Emotional Connection.

As adults, our relationships are our sacred space. We are mindful of who we interact with, and with those with whom we can share our emotional space. Not everyone deserves access to your thoughts. With the right people, you get the space to be vulnerable.

The thing about human connections is that presence is supreme. When a person is present for you, you feel supported. Relationships are about making space for others and being mindful of how you show up too.

Relationships also, eventually come down to choices. For those you choose, will have an impact on you.