I had a sweet revelation during my pranayama practice today. I noticed an abstract feeling in my heart. It had a tone of slight discomfort, but overall, it was neutral. And reflexively, a response came to me - 'I am not going to feel this way forever'.
This statement felt incredibly caring and supportive. It's not that I was feeling my worst. It was more like a reminder. No matter what I feel, it won't last forever.
As comforting as the statement was, it can sometimes cause a sense of anxiety. Imagine that statement comes up when you're feeling good about something. It's gonna make you feel extremely protective and possessive about that feeling. It's gonna want you to control whatever is happening around you. You're going to want to hold on to that feeling forever.
It was then I realized that I could not control anything. Not my circumstances, nor my emotions. I do not have the resources or the technical knowledge to do so. I do not possess anything.
This realization was humbling, to say the least. I can cherish my moments more because now, I am aware of this. The time I spend with my loved ones becomes even more precious, appreciating all that they do(/have done) for us, and to linger every chance I get. I want to document and remember every moment of laughter, of the smiles, of the pain - and everything we did to overcome it.
It was an upsetting realization. But it also meant that I need to be compassionate about what I interpret, and how I respond to the people around me.
Still, this statement is comforting. It's nice to know that in the moments we thought we failed or lost out, we can still carry on. Life has a way of getting us back up on our feet.
The sun rises again, and you will too.
