We are driven by our habits. As we go through the different phases in our life, our mindset evolves accordingly.
Over time, there can be some repetitive aspects that don't serve us. For instance: a mindset where you are set in your ways, leaving no space for chance.
Usually, we have a current scenario and a preferred scenario. Our current scenario is a reflection of our past. Moving to our preferred scenario begins with 1)accepting the current scenario and 2) restructuring the current scenario as needed to move towards our preferred scenario.
The best way to predict your future is to create it.
Different phases of our life require the necessary mindset. The mindset that brought you to this phase, will not be the mindset that leads you to the next.
It is crucial to be accountable to our present selves. When you are creating a conscious change in your life, it is natural to meet resistance. Because 1) our mind loves familiarity. the unknown poses a threat to it. 2) you might not know how to navigate the resistance. So you might stop yourself at the tracks.
At this point, one must reflect on their present ways of being. This reveals the different patterns and behaviours that are set in their biological system currently.
A Practise:
One way to re-train your mind is to notice the habitual thoughts and responses that show up. For instance, if your mind is being suspicious or dismissing others, the first step is to get curious and unpack why your mind considers this.
You don't have to always know the root of your assumptions. However, you should know what kind of person you'd want to be, and respond as per that. Does that person consider the others' subjective reality? Do they give them the benefit of the doubt, or are easily bending back to their old patterns (of responses)?
Our minds can make us believe that our existing thoughts are real. But you can change what your internal world believes.
Once you become conscious of your thought, you can decide whether you believe the idea, or deliberately choose which thought you would prefer instead.
For instance - you can simply tell your thoughts, "I know you feel like this, but this time I am not going to believe you. I am gonna ask them myself and get to know their perspective. I would rather ask than presume"
Now, from the above stance, you are taking full accountability - for your thoughts, on the circumstance, and how you are proceeding with the people concerned.
Many times, we can lose relationships based on communication gaps. It's good to be upfront, converse and nurture a loving relationship, rather than break it down at the slightest discomfort.
In my experience, I have had an avoidant attachment to my relationships. Choosing my next steps consciously has helped me attuned to my needs, as well as keeping communication with my loved ones. It has helped me open up and talk about things that I earlier, usually wouldn't.
Overall, I have better communication transparency with others now, than before, and it feels good to share myself with them too.
I read somewhere that deep relationships are not found.They are cultivated and nurtured. It inspired me to become better at communicating my needs with others.
